Ganguly Jokes

sh50

Active Member
#1
At the outset, I would like to say that I have the highest respect for Sourav as Captain and also his contribution to Indian cricket. I also feel strongly that he should have been treated fairly and with dignity by the public and the selectors and the media

These jokes were sent a couple of months ago by someone and I was about to erase them. Everybody appreciated them in Mr Gujral,s chatroom and I hope you like them too.

Being a poet myself, I always appreciate the imagnination of people who invent jokes. This should be seen in that spirit only-no disrespect implied to Sourav who will go down in history as one of our greatest captains apart from being a very elegant bastman. Anybody who scores 15000 runs in international cricket does not require any testimonial.

At the same time, I can't but also appreciate such talent and imagaination.:-
Hat trick

Sachin was out first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman Ganguly.

'Hard luck, man,' smirked Ganguly.
'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick.'

posted by AmitKen @ 11:02 AM 0 comments

Some more jokes

I recd in my mails in past few days, I do not know who their creator is, but i sincerely want to compliment all the creative funny minds. :eek:))

nJoy!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just 2 Minutes

Instructions on the back of Maggi 2 minutes noodles pack:
Step 1: Boil one cup of water
Step 2: As soon as Ganguly goes out to bat, put the noodles in the boiled water and add the tastemaker.
Step 3: Stir till Ganguly is on the field.
Step 4: As soon as Ganguly is back in pavilion, your noodles are ready to eat.

addendum:

Dear Customers,

We have received many compliments after we shared our recipe of 4 easy steps to cook Maggie. However we have received a very important complaint which we need to share with you all.

One of our regular customers, Mrs. Radha Pai, from Meerut had written to us that she tried out the recipe to cook Maggie during the first ODI between India & Pak.

She says that she followed all the steps correctly and was eager to have her breakfast. But she found that the Maggie was hardly fully wet and hence was not properly cooked.

We thoroughly apologized to our customer on behalf of our captain who returned back to the pavilion even before the Maggie was properly soaked in water.

In this regard we request all our customers to take a precaution and to wait for the Maggie to be cooked until after the re-plays.

Remember, even if Ganguly is back well before 2 minutes, the replays would ensure your Maggie is rightly done.

The management once again apologizes for any uncooked Maggies during the first ODI.

Regards,
Customer Care.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MasterMind Q&A on Sourav

1)What is common to a 100 mtrs race and Ganguly's innings?
Ans: They both last for the same time

2) How can u say "Get Out" to Ganguly politely?
Ans: Ask him to go to bat

3)If Rahul is "The Wall", what is Ganguly?
Ans: The hole in the wall

4)How can Ganguly save time everyday?
Ans: By not bothering to pad up

5)Who is the only cricketer who does not bat, bowl or field and yet plays international cricket?
Ans: no comments.......

6)Why has Saurav Ganguly been recommended as the fielding coach for India after retirement?
Ans: No one else can provide catches as easily as Ganguly

8)Which was the hottest place in B'lore Chinnaswami Stadium for the past few days?
Ans: The seat Ganguly was sitting in while in the Pavillion.

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Best Seller by Saurav Ganguly

Back to the Pavillion in two minutes

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The nervous Ganguly was having a terrible time and was lucky to still be at the crease. During a lull, he stammered to Kamran Akmal ,
'Well, I expect you've seen worse players.'
Silence....
Ganguly repeated 'I said I expect you've seen worse players.'
Akmal said 'I heard you the first time. I was just trying to think.'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ganguly had a large opinion of his batting prowess. He was approached by a KSCA member who couldn't resist saying to him,
'You know, whenever I watch you bat, I always wonder...'
''I know, I know. How I do it.''
'No. Why you do it?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ganguly had a dreadful test match which cost his side the game. All week long he practiced hard for the next game. During the following match, he said to John Wright,'Notice any difference?'
John Wright looked at him thoughtfully. 'You've had your hair cut, haven't you?'

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Phone call for Ganguly!

India Pakistan Match has started. As to be expected, it's a charged up atmosphere and the heat is really on! India is put in to bat. As to be expected, three wickets down, for a measly score. There is phone call for Ganguly, at the Dressing Room. The Team Manager picks up the call.
"Hello ! I am Ganguly's friend speaking . Can I talk to him now ?"
The Team Manager replies : "Sorry ! He has just gone in to bat. "
The caller replies "No problem . I'll hold the line ! "

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


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After the shameful defeat of Indian cricket team to Pakistan inBangalore, the team members were not able to show their faces to peopleand they chose not to go in public and rather just pack up in hotelrooms.
Ganguly could not resist for too long to be in hotel and notable to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as aSardar and goes out.

he meets a woman at the exit of the hotel who greets him "Hi Saurav !"

Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up asa Muslim woman - in Burkha etc and goes out. Yet same again - thesame woman greets him "Hi Saurav!".

Ganguly comes back determined to give it yet another try with the makeup of a Hippie wig and shorts etc. All in vain - the same lady catcheshim again and greets him "Hi Saurav!".

Bewildered by now, he could not help asking, "How did you recognizeme?"

The lady replied - "I am Laxman!"

posted by AmitKen @ 10:48 AM 0 comments

The ORIGINAL 'Ganguly Series'

What is the next number in the series 21, 12, 12, 1, 2, ...
Scroll down for answer .
.
.
-----------------------------------------------.
.
.
Only Ganguly knows it. Because these are his scores in the Test series.

posted by AmitKen @ 10:47 AM 0 comments

I did not say this.. they said it


Here it goes....

> Shoaib Akhtar admits Ganguly is faster and quicker than him.
"I haven't seen any one get out so fast. Man, I envy his speed. I am
quick but he is quickest," he says, "I think I should now cut my
run up short when I bowl to him. Or else, he might be gone when I
am half way through my run up."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Indian Railways keen on Ganguly as brand embassador:
"We'll be having someone who comes (back) before time. This will
help railways improve the image with the Indian public." says a
Railway spokesperson.

> Q: Any guess which is Ganguly's favorite movie?
A: Gone in 60 seconds.

>>> Contributed by Addicted...

> Que- What is the difference between God and Ganguly?
Ans- God doesnt think he's Ganguly

> The Indian sides standard of batting was very low. Even at net
practice, they couldn't hit a thing. Finally, captain Ganguly rushed
forward and grabbed the bat. 'Now bowl me some fast ones!' he yelled.
Ten fast balls came down in quick succession and he missed them all.
He glared at the team and shouted: 'Now that's what you're all doing.
Get in there and hit them!'

>>> Contributed by Animesh (http://ani.rediffblogs.com/)

posted by AmitKen @ 9:24 AM 1 comments

Ganguly Series ... The Debut
[email protected]@@@@@@@@------------------------
 
#2
sh50 said:
At the same time, I can't but also appreciate such talent and imagaination.:-
Hat trick

Sachin was out first ball. On the long walk back to the pavilion he had to pass the incoming batsman Ganguly.

'Hard luck, man,' smirked Ganguly.
'Yes. It's a shame I had to be right in the middle of a hat trick.'

posted by AmitKen @ 11:02 AM 0 comments

Some more jokes

I recd in my mails in past few days, I do not know who their creator is, but i sincerely want to compliment all the creative funny minds. :eek:))

nJoy!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just 2 Minutes

Instructions on the back of Maggi 2 minutes noodles pack:
Step 1: Boil one cup of water
Step 2: As soon as Ganguly goes out to bat, put the noodles in the boiled water and add the tastemaker.
Step 3: Stir till Ganguly is on the field.
Step 4: As soon as Ganguly is back in pavilion, your noodles are ready to eat.

addendum:

Dear Customers,

We have received many compliments after we shared our recipe of 4 easy steps to cook Maggie. However we have received a very important complaint which we need to share with you all.

One of our regular customers, Mrs. Radha Pai, from Meerut had written to us that she tried out the recipe to cook Maggie during the first ODI between India & Pak.

She says that she followed all the steps correctly and was eager to have her breakfast. But she found that the Maggie was hardly fully wet and hence was not properly cooked.

We thoroughly apologized to our customer on behalf of our captain who returned back to the pavilion even before the Maggie was properly soaked in water.

In this regard we request all our customers to take a precaution and to wait for the Maggie to be cooked until after the re-plays.

Remember, even if Ganguly is back well before 2 minutes, the replays would ensure your Maggie is rightly done.

The management once again apologizes for any uncooked Maggies during the first ODI.

Regards,
Customer Care.


> The Indian sides standard of batting was very low. Even at net
practice, they couldn't hit a thing. Finally, captain Ganguly rushed
forward and grabbed the bat. 'Now bowl me some fast ones!' he yelled.
Ten fast balls came down in quick succession and he missed them all.
He glared at the team and shouted: 'Now that's what you're all doing.
Get in there and hit them!'

>>> Contributed by Animesh (http://ani.rediffblogs.com/)

posted by AmitKen @ 9:24 AM 1 comments

Ganguly Series ... The Debut
[email protected]@@@@@@@@------------------------
lol:D :D Thanks sh50
 
#6
Sourav is going across the border this New Year. Now what?

To his crititics.......... I'm a Sourav fan purely because he has proved time & again that " FORM IS NOT PERMANENT BUT CLASS IS". Never mind his record as team India's most succesful Captain in history, he was, is & will be for some more time at least the most silken-touched & classy left-hander in history the world over (weakness against the short-stuff a bit but no one is perfect). Yes, he's hot-tempered like any other Bengali (remember they were in the forefront of the freedom struggle :cool: ) but that's what Team India needed 5 years ago when they were folding like a pack of cards everytime they needed to fight & had already earned a reputation of being spunk-less losers. That's when Dada strode onto the scene, heralded his arrival as a player with that classic maiden test century on debut at the halo'd grounds of Lords & went on over the years to give Team India some spine & spunk. Team India needed a Captain to put his boot up...you know what. Discipline was the keyword & was nowhere in sight then. He led by example & with the stick. Some did'nt like it then perhaps & are now quite glum about happenings around them. Remember that scene of him flashing his shirt on the pavillion terrace when we beat the English in England, well that's Sourav for you.........all spunk & glory for all of us Indians. Now you know why the English left our shores when they did.:rolleyes:


What I really can't comprehend is why do the Gangulys have to prove by performing always but not the Tendulkars, Sehwags, Laxmans et al. I cry for a common yardstick & if this criteria has to be rammed down the throats of 2-bit zonal/regional cricketers comprising the present selection committee (no test-level experience by any) headed by a Chairman who at best can boast of some Test experience with nothing-to-write-home-about performances..... so be it. Remember that Kirmani was yards & miles ahead as a wicket-keeper batsman & performed very creditably as Chairman of selectors without being even remotely region or person biased.

I am glad that good sense prevailed today at last...........no influence from any quarter is what I am sure about. Now let's see the results a couple of months later. Am keeping my fingers crossed the powers that be don't use him cooling his heels on the bench or worse, as the drinks-man.

One thing is for sure, pharengi is pharengi wherever you use the word..... be it as a colonial power, commanding officer or COACH. Pray, where are all the illustrious Indian cricketers of yesterday & yesteryear? Surely, Indians could do as well to motivate Indians to fight.....battles on the battle-field or cricket field.:cool:

Greg (the great) Chapell was a great player..YES; is a great coach..YES; but can he gel with us is the question. Maybe yes, maybe no & the way things have transpired as soon as he took over can confuse one, to say the least. I'll leave it to you folks to deduce whatever you may care to.

I am from Chennai, not Kolkata. I am not a Bengali. I am just an Indian trying to keep the tri-colour flying high by supporting another Indian who gave his all & is still willing and able to give his all for the cause.
 
Last edited:
#7
hey Jaideep,

looks like you took it very personal....its meant for laugh...

After the test in Delhi, he deserves more to be in the Team than anyother batsmen..we are all fan's of Saurav no doubt...

there are ups & downs in carreer, lot of people made politics using him, so he is made to pay now
Satya
 

sh50

Active Member
#9
I too am glad that he is back. Just a week before he was dropped there was an interesting debate by former cricketers Srikanth and Mohinder Amarnath on how to drop a player gracefully. Kapil dev reveals in his biography how the board treats the captains shabbily so that no one gets too powerful. He also reveals the stockmarket behaviour of the crowd- how the reception in the world cup victory in 1983 reduced the players to tears and only six months later after an indifferent performance against the west endies, they were pelted with stones. That is why the Indian captain is deemed next in importance to the PM's job. Everybody needs to understand that cricket after all is just a game.

I have not like some of Chappel's conduct but on sheer merit, he deserves to be coach. John Wright was also brought on Rahul Dravid's recommendation when he played for Kent. Its not the phirangi angle but the players themselve say that the foreign coaches bring scientific temper and modern techniques and are better motivators too. That is why Bob Woolmer replaced Javed Miandad and the results are all for us to see. HRD experts in 30 countries, Morgan and Banks have said that all great players do not make good coaches. Greg has proved his credentials with South Australia and has impeccable credentials as a player. His cricketing knowledge is widely appreciated.

As for Sourav, let us hope that he is able to effect a major trend reversal and strike a bullsh run. I agree totally with the silken touch- he reminds me of David Gower, one of the most elegant batman to grace the game of cricket. Sourav also hits very good sixes in one day cricket, something that Dravid has never been able to do despite all his consistency.

Although the jokes may have made us giggly
Many people have felt strongly
About Saurav being dropped wrongly
Let us hope that Ganguly
Is able to face shoaib with as much dexterity as he has faced many a googly
Let us hope that the prince of Kolkatta comes up with a performance that can be deemed kingly
And make his detractors look ugly
Then all India and not just hoogly(Kolkatta)
Will once again respond to him overwhelmingly
He has off the field grace too, on the ground sometimes a captain has to be Jungly
For the simple reason that most ppl have to be pushed and rarely perform willingly
The sledging Australians or a Shoaib Akhtar can hardly be encountered lovingly
Proportionate Aggression is welcome by anyone whether any other Indian or a Bengali

Jaideep, my Govinda type poetry will not do. His silken touch deserves your classy touch. To one master from another. It wii be an effective rejoinder to the jokes too. Kindly oblige.
 
Last edited:
#10
OK guys, am rushing off for my Xmas cocktails & dinner. TIME is mine hereafter, at least until tomorrow same time. I'll respond as passionately as I can 'coz I breathe & live cricket too.:)
 

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