A bit of humor

J

jaideep

Member
#31
#31
vince said:
Thank you all for your appreciation. Here is a another one :A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the stockbroker, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a stockbroker-- he gets a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff? How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; his clients, they prayed!"

and on that note a very happy Dushera to all members.
Click to expand...
Great one Vince. Laughed my guts out again reading this one. Incidentally, looks like this one was posted here in this forum quite a while ago by someone else. Still a very good laugh for another 1000 readings. Keep it up Vince. You sure lift us up when we feel low.
 
Saint

Saint

Banned
#32
#32
jaideep said:
Great one Vince. Laughed my guts out again reading this one. Incidentally, looks like this one was posted here in this forum quite a while ago by someone else. Still a very good laugh for another 1000 readings. Keep it up Vince. You sure lift us up when we feel low.
Click to expand...
Yep,was posted recently ...................but had the same effect then as well as now.....a good laugh!! :D :D Keep em coming,Vince!!

Saint
 
V

vince

Active Member
#33
#33
The Day Trader's Aptitude Test!

1. When I want investment advice, I get it from:
a) My brokers tips.
b) The Wall Street Journal
c) Complete strangers I run into at the video store.

2. When I wake up in the morning, I:
a) Shower
b) Get dressed.
c) Lift my head off the keyboard and start shorting drug stocks.

3. In order to trade stocks intelligently, one must have a:
a) BA
b) MBA
c) Mouse

4. The last book I read was:
a) Madame Bovary.
b) Rich dad poor dad.
c) Windows 2000 for Dummies.

5. I go to the doctor:
a) Once a year.
b) Once every two years.
c) When I put my fist through the screen.

6. "Cisco" is a company that manufactures:
a) Paper
b) Cowboys
c) I have no idea, but I just bought two hundred shares.

7. When I am in a bar and meet a beautiful woman/man who seems to be attracted to me, the first thing I look at is:
a) Her/his face.
b) Her/his body.
c) Bloomberg

8. "Beating the spread" refers to:
a) The way whipped cream cheese is made.
b) The way Honduran peasant women clean their bed coverings.
c) Don't know/care.

9. "P/E ratio" means:
a) Something to do with, like, stocks and junk like that.
b) The number of times per hour that a day trader has to use the bathroom.
c) Like I care?

10. A "tick" is:
a) A nervous syndrome common to day traders.
b) Something that often lives in a day trader's hair.
c) These questions are really starting to make me mad, dude!

If you answered (c) to any of the above questions...
Congratulations!
You do have what it takes to succeed in the fast-paced, action-packed world of the day traders!
 
P

phoenix

Member
#34
#34
vince said:
Thank you all for your appreciation. Here is a another one :A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the stockbroker, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a stockbroker-- he gets a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff? How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; his clients, they prayed!"

and on that note a very happy Dushera to all members.
Click to expand...
Missed this one.Nice one,:D :D

Phoenix:cool:
 
C

coljaspal

Member
#36
#36
Hi Vince,
Good aptitude test! I did tick a few (c)s .....but I'm not sure if my trading account reflects my aptitude in what you cal the fast paced action-packed world of traders!
Regards,
Jaspal
 
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