I completely forgot that I had this thread running until I was reminded by someone about it. Apologies for it. I will take this thread forward from here on as and when I have thoughts.
For a start, We must accept a very fundamental fact that we are not who we think we are. We do not know who we are because we never bothered to find out. We may know what we like and dislike, what our potentials are, what our strengths and weaknesses are. But, knowing this merely doesn't define who we are. Most of us are nothing but a product of conditioning since our childhood. We were told by our mothers and fathers what is good & bad, evil and godly, fair & unfair. Who we think we are is basically a reflection of what people taught us. Thoughts that were enforced upon our tender minds. As we grew up, our world expanded beyond our mothers and fathers. Opinions, ideas and thoughts of others were drilled into our little brains. This outside influence hasn’t stopped and will never stop. Does it mean we will never find out who we really are???
How many times in our lives have we felt that there is a deep inner voice that speaks out contradicting everything that everyone has ever taught us? errr eh!! How many times do we ignore this voice that is screaming so loud? Always... right? As an example... how many times have you felt your inner voice scream to you and say "GO LONG IN THE NIFTY NOW" but you have failed to act upon it? Many times right? Why? Have you ever wondered? The answers are not easy.
From the time we wake up till the time we fall asleep, we are in constant motion, mentally and physically. In 16 waking hours we go through various emotions. Love, lust, anger, happiness, satisfaction, frustration, sadness, pity, confidence, joy, hurt, frustration etc etc.... Whatever the emotion is, we are going through some form of it, most of the times.
Very sadly, most of the times, we do not even know why we feel a certain way. Do you remember screaming at your wife because you had a bad day at work?? Do you remember your boss screaming at your for no apparent fault of yours? Does this ever happen to you? This is happening to all of us at all the time. Yet we deny it. We never accept it. There lies our biggest problem. We do not know who we are. We don not know why we feel what we feel.
For a start let us try to fix this. At the end of each day, Lay back on your bed, comfortable and undisturbed. Close your eyes and go through each emotion you felt from the start of the day till the very end of your day. For example, You woke up in the morning at 8 AM and you found that your wife didn’t make Tea for you. What did you feel? Ask yourself why you felt? As you lay in your bed thinking about it, spend a moment to feel the emotion. Just for a minute, feel exactly what you felt. Try and feel it once again. Then ask yourself why you felt. Then go to the next strong emotion you felt during the day. Another Example.. You turn on CNBC at 9AM and you see Sgx nifty down 25 points. You feel scared. Feel this for a minute. Then ask yourself why you felt like this. You will get an answer. Take note of the answer. Go through all the major feelings you feel through the day. When you have gone through all the feeling you felt through the course of the day, try to fall asleep knowing why you felt what you felt. This is the first step you need to take. Be honest with the answers. Be honest with your feelings.
As you do more of this every night, you will see more of who you really are. This will be a process we will have to do everyday. No shortcuts. Should take no more than 10 minutes. I bet you will see a lot of changes in 10 days. You will realize that you are not who & what you think you are. You will realize that there is a different person inside of you. It’s this different person we want to meet. Set yourself on this very small journey. This is the beginning. We have a long way to go.
Whatever you want in your life, you can achieve it. No matter what it is.