Self Help & Misc. Instresting Stuff.
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Some weekend TP..... // Source : Whatsapp, email....
Bablu!!!!
Teacher : Kal school kyu nahi aaye?
Bablu : Girlfriend se mil ne gaya tha.
Teacher : Kis liye?
Bablu : Haan Sir.
Teacher : Maine poocha kis liye?
Bablu : Liye sir, bahut kiss liye. :lol::lol::lol:
***
The mysterious monks.....
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes inside and ask, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, we can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man is disappointed, but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, The same man’s car breaks down again in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night too, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you, you're not a monk. The man is now really curious and says, All right, all right. I really want to know, and If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, You must first give up drinking, smoking, and all other pleasures for 5 years. And during that time, you can have only one meal a day, and must meditate an hour in the morning, afternoon and night. Only then we can accept you to be a monk.
The man thinks about it, but is determined to find out what the strange noise was about. So he follows the advise and does as he has told. Finally, 5 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery and says I have done all that you have asked me to do. So now you must accept me to be the monk.
The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound. The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, the sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, Real funny. May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of copper. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of silver, So it went until the man had gone through doors of gold, platinum and diamond.
Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door. The man is relieved to know end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk
***
Rajnikanth!!!
With Rajnikanth in the news with the release of his movie ‘KABALI’ (Which already grossed 200 crores thru sale of rights before its release, can Rajnikanth jokes be far behind?
Rajnikanth was shot today... The bullet will be buried tomorrow.
Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
Only Rajinikanth knows which came before – The chicken or the egg.
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
***
Price shock!!!
A person died after hearing the price of Tur daal.
The doctor with a sense of humor issued death certificate that read... Cause of death.."High pulse rate" :lol::lol::lol:
The Wise old vet....
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to an old Vet in another town, who was known to be very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and reflected for sometime and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland."?
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland." ?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland." :lol::lol::lol:
Have a great weekend folks...
Bablu!!!!
Teacher : Kal school kyu nahi aaye?
Bablu : Girlfriend se mil ne gaya tha.
Teacher : Kis liye?
Bablu : Haan Sir.
Teacher : Maine poocha kis liye?
Bablu : Liye sir, bahut kiss liye. :lol::lol::lol:
***
The mysterious monks.....
A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes inside and ask, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, we can't tell you. You're not a monk. The man is disappointed, but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, The same man’s car breaks down again in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night too, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you, you're not a monk. The man is now really curious and says, All right, all right. I really want to know, and If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, You must first give up drinking, smoking, and all other pleasures for 5 years. And during that time, you can have only one meal a day, and must meditate an hour in the morning, afternoon and night. Only then we can accept you to be a monk.
The man thinks about it, but is determined to find out what the strange noise was about. So he follows the advise and does as he has told. Finally, 5 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery and says I have done all that you have asked me to do. So now you must accept me to be the monk.
The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound. The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, the sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, Real funny. May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of copper. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of silver, So it went until the man had gone through doors of gold, platinum and diamond.
Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door. The man is relieved to know end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
. . . .
But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk
***
Rajnikanth!!!
With Rajnikanth in the news with the release of his movie ‘KABALI’ (Which already grossed 200 crores thru sale of rights before its release, can Rajnikanth jokes be far behind?
Rajnikanth was shot today... The bullet will be buried tomorrow.
Rajnikanth has a statue of Madame Tussauds at his house!!
The apple which fell on Newton was actually thrown by Rajinikanth!
Only Rajinikanth knows which came before – The chicken or the egg.
When Alexander Graham Bell first used his telephone, he realized that he already had two missed calls from Rajinikanth.
***
Price shock!!!
A person died after hearing the price of Tur daal.
The doctor with a sense of humor issued death certificate that read... Cause of death.."High pulse rate" :lol::lol::lol:
The Wise old vet....
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.
They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to go to an old Vet in another town, who was known to be very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and reflected for sometime and asked, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland."?
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland." ?
The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland." :lol::lol::lol:
Have a great weekend folks...
While I have reservations about Baba Ramdev on some issues, can say without a doubt that he is brilliant mind in marketing, and even without doing MBA, he can outwit and outsell the guys from IIM's.....
Here is his foray into education thru Yoga and Ayurvedic Medicine.... There is promise of placement abroad (though the salary seems to be low) But for someone looking to make a career, this course can be a step in the right direction... if one is interested to migrate to US/Australia/Canada/New Zealand or anywhere in Europe.... this course can surely help besides enabling one to set up a thriving business.... Individual yoga classes in the West can cost anything between US$/Euros 30-75+ per hour, and these are in great demand....
Here is his foray into education thru Yoga and Ayurvedic Medicine.... There is promise of placement abroad (though the salary seems to be low) But for someone looking to make a career, this course can be a step in the right direction... if one is interested to migrate to US/Australia/Canada/New Zealand or anywhere in Europe.... this course can surely help besides enabling one to set up a thriving business.... Individual yoga classes in the West can cost anything between US$/Euros 30-75+ per hour, and these are in great demand....
Some TP for weekend... / Source : Whatsapp and mails.
On the death of her boyfriend, the girl laid down on the funeral pyre, seeing which all the people had tears in their eyes…..
But then what happened?
The girl removed her camera and started taking selfies and posted : Me with My ex boy Friend" at Shamshanghat. Feeling vidhva… With Panditji and 50 others…. :lol::lol::lol:
***
A blonde hadn't been to church for many many months. She always promised to go, but never did. One day, the pastor was astounded when she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter, she was at every Sunday service, every prayer meeting, every home group meeting, etc.
Three months later, one Sunday after the service, the Pastor asks her, "What happened to you? You always dodged church and now it looks like you can't get enough of it?"
She replied, "It's this new car of mine, Pastor; they told me the warranty will lapse if I miss even one service!" :lol::lol::lol:
***
Wife: Why are you wasting money on drinking ?
Husband : Why are you wasting money on Beauty Parlors ?
Wife: It is for you only, so that I can look beautiful to you.
Husband : I am also drinking just for you, so that you look beautiful to me. :lol::lol::lol:
***
Inspiring Story…...
A famous writer was in his study room. He picked up his pen and started writing :
**Last year, I had a surgery and my gall bladder was removed. I had to stay stuck to the bed due to this surgery for a long time.
**The same year I reached the age of 60 years and had to give up my favourite job. I had spent 30 years of my life in this publishing company.
**The same year I experienced the sorrow of the death of my father.
**And in the same year my son failed in his medical exam because he had a car accident. He had to stay in bed at hospital with the cast on for several days. The destruction of car was another loss.
At the end he wrote: Alas! It was such bad year !!
When the writer's wife entered the room, she found her husband looking sad & lost in his thoughts. From behind his back she read what was written on the paper. She left the room silently and came back with another paper and placed it on side of her husband's writing.
When the writer saw this paper, he found his name written on it with following lines :
**Last year I finally got rid of my gall bladder due to which I had spent years in pain....
**I turned 60 with sound health and got retired from my job. Now I can utilize my time to write something better with more focus and peace.....
**The same year my father, at the age of 95, without depending on anyone or without any critical condition met his Creator.....
**The same year, God blessed my son with a new life. My car was destroyed but my son stayed alive without getting any disability......
At the end she wrote:
This year was an immense blessing of God and it passed well !!!
In life, it is not happiness that makes us grateful but gratefulness that makes us happy.
***
Life is like a notebook. Two pages are already written for you. The first is your birth, and the last, when your death. In between, all the pages are empty. Fill them with love and happiness.
***
And finally : Time Will Come !
Kenya is 2 hrs ahead of Nigeria, but it does not mean that Nigeria is slow or that Kenya is fast. Both countries are working based on their own "Time Zone."
Some one is still single. Someone got married and 'waited' 10 yrs before having a child, there is another who had a baby within a year of marriage.
Someone graduated at the age of 22, yet waited 5 years before securing a good job; and there is another who graduated at 27 and secured employment immediately!
Someone became CEO at 25 and died at 50 while another became a CEO at 50 and lived to 90 years.
Everyone works based on their 'Time Zone',
People can have things worked out only according to their pace. Work in your “time zone”.
Your Colleagues, friends, younger ones might "seem" to go ahead of you. May be some might "seem" behind you.
Don't envy them or mock them, it's their 'Time Zone.' You are in yours!
Hold on, be strong, and stay true to yourself. All things shall work together for your good. You’re not late… You are not early...
You’re very much on time!
***
Have a great weekend....
homosexual social experiment in india https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiRZCyHq0-0
Three stories to touch your heart.....
Sandcastles.....
Gautam Buddha was entering a village, and on it’s outskirt there was a river. He stopped there to see a few children playing, making castles in the sand. They were fully engrossed in the act, oblivious to everything else. There were many children playing, and if someone disturbed somebody's castle, or threw some water or walked close, they would get angry and shout, and fights would break out. Buddha just stood there, watching. Then, it was time for the sun to set and the children’s mothers called them from nearby house. One by one, they all jumped on their own castles, the ones they had made and for which they were fighting that nobody should disturb them. They jumped on their own castles and never looked back, simply went home.
Seeing this, Buddha remarked to his disciples, "Life is not much more than this." All that you do in life with full seriousness is build sandcastles. And you yourself will leave them one day, trampling them down not looking back. But people take it seriously….. The question to ask here is : What sand castle are your creating in your life?
***
The way we see things....
To be updated....
***
Wealth and mindset - Who is rich and who is poor?
A wealthy woman went to a saree shop and request the salesman. "Bhaiya, show me some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid." After sometime, the maid comes to the saree shop and tells the salesman at the counter "Bhaiya, show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage"
Is poverty about your possessions or about your mindset? Who is rich? And who is poor? There is another example.
A lady staying with her family in a 5-star hotel me. She is a mother to a 6 month old baby. "Can I get 1 cup of milk?" asked the lady to the 5-star hotel manager. "Yes madam", he replies, and charges for it in the bill.
While driving back from hotel, the child is hungry again. So the husband stops at a road side tea stall and takes milk from the tea vendor. "How much?” she asked the tea vendor. "Madam, how can I charge you money for a small child's milk", the tea seller replies with a smile. "Let me know if you need more for the journey". The lady takes one more cup and leaves. She leaves wondering, "Who is richer? The hotel manager or the old tea vendor?
Some people accumulate money enough that will last them lifetime and for the next few generations as well. But they still have hunger and desire to have more. Another person has enough for himself and his family. But he directs his time and efforts for helping others that are less fortunate than him.....
Two people - but as different as night and day.....
***
Some great quotes to live by :
Nobody else is responsible – only you and you alone. If you suffer, it is because of you, if you feel blissful, it is because of you. You are your hell and heaven and too – Osho
Living in the present is the only option: It is easy to spend time thinking about the future or dwelling on the past - but what you will always have is - only now. Live it well. - Unknown
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest challenges become your greatest strengths - Drew Barrymore
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind!! – Dale Carnegie
The primary cause of pain and unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it - Unknown
***
Have a great weekend folks.
Sandcastles.....
Gautam Buddha was entering a village, and on it’s outskirt there was a river. He stopped there to see a few children playing, making castles in the sand. They were fully engrossed in the act, oblivious to everything else. There were many children playing, and if someone disturbed somebody's castle, or threw some water or walked close, they would get angry and shout, and fights would break out. Buddha just stood there, watching. Then, it was time for the sun to set and the children’s mothers called them from nearby house. One by one, they all jumped on their own castles, the ones they had made and for which they were fighting that nobody should disturb them. They jumped on their own castles and never looked back, simply went home.
Seeing this, Buddha remarked to his disciples, "Life is not much more than this." All that you do in life with full seriousness is build sandcastles. And you yourself will leave them one day, trampling them down not looking back. But people take it seriously….. The question to ask here is : What sand castle are your creating in your life?
***
The way we see things....
To be updated....
***
Wealth and mindset - Who is rich and who is poor?
A wealthy woman went to a saree shop and request the salesman. "Bhaiya, show me some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid." After sometime, the maid comes to the saree shop and tells the salesman at the counter "Bhaiya, show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage"
Is poverty about your possessions or about your mindset? Who is rich? And who is poor? There is another example.
A lady staying with her family in a 5-star hotel me. She is a mother to a 6 month old baby. "Can I get 1 cup of milk?" asked the lady to the 5-star hotel manager. "Yes madam", he replies, and charges for it in the bill.
While driving back from hotel, the child is hungry again. So the husband stops at a road side tea stall and takes milk from the tea vendor. "How much?” she asked the tea vendor. "Madam, how can I charge you money for a small child's milk", the tea seller replies with a smile. "Let me know if you need more for the journey". The lady takes one more cup and leaves. She leaves wondering, "Who is richer? The hotel manager or the old tea vendor?
Some people accumulate money enough that will last them lifetime and for the next few generations as well. But they still have hunger and desire to have more. Another person has enough for himself and his family. But he directs his time and efforts for helping others that are less fortunate than him.....
Two people - but as different as night and day.....
***
Some great quotes to live by :
Nobody else is responsible – only you and you alone. If you suffer, it is because of you, if you feel blissful, it is because of you. You are your hell and heaven and too – Osho
Living in the present is the only option: It is easy to spend time thinking about the future or dwelling on the past - but what you will always have is - only now. Live it well. - Unknown
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest challenges become your greatest strengths - Drew Barrymore
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind!! – Dale Carnegie
The primary cause of pain and unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it - Unknown
***
Have a great weekend folks.
Wonderful.. Please keep it coming..:clap::thumb::clapping:
Three stories to touch your heart.....
Sandcastles.....
Gautam Buddha was entering a village, and on it’s outskirt there was a river. He stopped there to see a few children playing, making castles in the sand. They were fully engrossed in the act, oblivious to everything else. There were many children playing, and if someone disturbed somebody's castle, or threw some water or walked close, they would get angry and shout, and fights would break out. Buddha just stood there, watching. Then, it was time for the sun to set and the children’s mothers called them from nearby house. One by one, they all jumped on their own castles, the ones they had made and for which they were fighting that nobody should disturb them. They jumped on their own castles and never looked back, simply went home.
Seeing this, Buddha remarked to his disciples, "Life is not much more than this." All that you do in life with full seriousness is build sandcastles. And you yourself will leave them one day, trampling them down not looking back. But people take it seriously….. The question to ask here is : What sand castle are your creating in your life?
***
The way we see things....
To be updated....
***
Wealth and mindset - Who is rich and who is poor?
A wealthy woman went to a saree shop and request the salesman. "Bhaiya, show me some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid." After sometime, the maid comes to the saree shop and tells the salesman at the counter "Bhaiya, show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage"
Is poverty about your possessions or about your mindset? Who is rich? And who is poor? There is another example.
A lady staying with her family in a 5-star hotel me. She is a mother to a 6 month old baby. "Can I get 1 cup of milk?" asked the lady to the 5-star hotel manager. "Yes madam", he replies, and charges for it in the bill.
While driving back from hotel, the child is hungry again. So the husband stops at a road side tea stall and takes milk from the tea vendor. "How much?” she asked the tea vendor. "Madam, how can I charge you money for a small child's milk", the tea seller replies with a smile. "Let me know if you need more for the journey". The lady takes one more cup and leaves. She leaves wondering, "Who is richer? The hotel manager or the old tea vendor?
Some people accumulate money enough that will last them lifetime and for the next few generations as well. But they still have hunger and desire to have more. Another person has enough for himself and his family. But he directs his time and efforts for helping others that are less fortunate than him.....
Two people - but as different as night and day.....
***
Some great quotes to live by :
Nobody else is responsible – only you and you alone. If you suffer, it is because of you, if you feel blissful, it is because of you. You are your hell and heaven and too – Osho
Living in the present is the only option: It is easy to spend time thinking about the future or dwelling on the past - but what you will always have is - only now. Live it well. - Unknown
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest challenges become your greatest strengths - Drew Barrymore
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind!! – Dale Carnegie
The primary cause of pain and unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it - Unknown
***
Have a great weekend folks.
Sandcastles.....
Gautam Buddha was entering a village, and on it’s outskirt there was a river. He stopped there to see a few children playing, making castles in the sand. They were fully engrossed in the act, oblivious to everything else. There were many children playing, and if someone disturbed somebody's castle, or threw some water or walked close, they would get angry and shout, and fights would break out. Buddha just stood there, watching. Then, it was time for the sun to set and the children’s mothers called them from nearby house. One by one, they all jumped on their own castles, the ones they had made and for which they were fighting that nobody should disturb them. They jumped on their own castles and never looked back, simply went home.
Seeing this, Buddha remarked to his disciples, "Life is not much more than this." All that you do in life with full seriousness is build sandcastles. And you yourself will leave them one day, trampling them down not looking back. But people take it seriously….. The question to ask here is : What sand castle are your creating in your life?
***
The way we see things....
To be updated....
***
Wealth and mindset - Who is rich and who is poor?
A wealthy woman went to a saree shop and request the salesman. "Bhaiya, show me some cheap sarees. It is my son's marriage and I have to give to my maid." After sometime, the maid comes to the saree shop and tells the salesman at the counter "Bhaiya, show some expensive sarees. I want to gift my Mistress on her son's marriage"
Is poverty about your possessions or about your mindset? Who is rich? And who is poor? There is another example.
A lady staying with her family in a 5-star hotel me. She is a mother to a 6 month old baby. "Can I get 1 cup of milk?" asked the lady to the 5-star hotel manager. "Yes madam", he replies, and charges for it in the bill.
While driving back from hotel, the child is hungry again. So the husband stops at a road side tea stall and takes milk from the tea vendor. "How much?” she asked the tea vendor. "Madam, how can I charge you money for a small child's milk", the tea seller replies with a smile. "Let me know if you need more for the journey". The lady takes one more cup and leaves. She leaves wondering, "Who is richer? The hotel manager or the old tea vendor?
Some people accumulate money enough that will last them lifetime and for the next few generations as well. But they still have hunger and desire to have more. Another person has enough for himself and his family. But he directs his time and efforts for helping others that are less fortunate than him.....
Two people - but as different as night and day.....
***
Some great quotes to live by :
Nobody else is responsible – only you and you alone. If you suffer, it is because of you, if you feel blissful, it is because of you. You are your hell and heaven and too – Osho
Living in the present is the only option: It is easy to spend time thinking about the future or dwelling on the past - but what you will always have is - only now. Live it well. - Unknown
Life is very interesting. In the end, some of your greatest challenges become your greatest strengths - Drew Barrymore
Fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind!! – Dale Carnegie
The primary cause of pain and unhappiness is never the situation, but your thoughts about it - Unknown
***
Have a great weekend folks.
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