Self Help & Misc. Instresting Stuff.
- Thread starter DSM
- Start date
@DSM,
It will be ungrateful, if I pass the whole thread without thanking you. Thank you so much!!
Sometime people are lazy to read books, here it is easy to read all wisdom, puzzles, jokes etc. I can imagine that many people have already come across of short animated videos of psychology books. But who haven't till now can enjoy such kind of short videos. It can save your 2-3 days of reading, and you can get good ideas though not in detail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h6IMYRoCZw
Thanks
rip07
It will be ungrateful, if I pass the whole thread without thanking you. Thank you so much!!
Sometime people are lazy to read books, here it is easy to read all wisdom, puzzles, jokes etc. I can imagine that many people have already come across of short animated videos of psychology books. But who haven't till now can enjoy such kind of short videos. It can save your 2-3 days of reading, and you can get good ideas though not in detail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h6IMYRoCZw
Thanks
rip07
Thanks Rip07 for your kind words. Appreciated. Here's an edited excerpt worth reading : From The forgotten secret to phenomenal success by Mike Hernacki
Quote :
I have a friend named Carla, a Mexican immigrant who married a man from the poorest part of Los Angeles. Miguel was also of Mexican descent, though he had been born and raised in the United States. For Carla, coming to America was a marvelous opportunity to succeed and prosper, so she worked hard and began raising the children she and Miguel had. But where Carla saw opportunity, Miguel saw only dead ends.
They moved to San Diego and settled in a neighborhood that was just as poverty stricken as the one they'd left behind in L.A - even though they both had jobs and could have afforded better. Whenever Carla mentioned moving to a nicer neighborhood, Miguel's response was 'That place is for rich people. Our kind can never live there' Whenever she talked of their children going to college and getting white collar jobs, Miguel would say 'We could never afford it, so why try?'
Carla and Miguel's children never did try very hard. Their son passed up a chance to go to a community college and instead worked as a janitor - until he got into trouble with drugs and ran off to Mexico. Their daughter mixed up with the wrong crowd and had a baby when she was fifteen. Though she is extraordinarily intelligent and would have qualified for several kinds of financial assistance if she had gone on to school, she stopped when she got her high school diploma and took a job in fast food restaurant.
Unquote.
The above is an example of how Miguel's thinking, attitude, beliefs, actions and behavior sabotaged any chance of progress or success for himself or his family. So it is quite true that it is our thinking, actions, behavior, habits and ultimately our life that is a product of subconscious programming and subconscious beliefs stemming from what our parents, family, friends, teachers, society have told or expected from us. And hence, it is not surprising that we ourselves sabotage our own success (even if we do it subconsciously) as it makes us uncomfortable being in variance with our self held beliefs? Here is a test : If someone compliments you, what is your response? Do you automatically deflect it or laugh it off by saying, 'Oh, it's nothing, or it's no big deal? If so, this is a reflection of a poor self image which shows that praise or compliment makes you uncomfortable.
This post also relates to what Snake Head had posted in the M6 thread. http://www.traderji.com/general-tra...y-markets-method-madness-142.html#post1179028
Quote :
I have a friend named Carla, a Mexican immigrant who married a man from the poorest part of Los Angeles. Miguel was also of Mexican descent, though he had been born and raised in the United States. For Carla, coming to America was a marvelous opportunity to succeed and prosper, so she worked hard and began raising the children she and Miguel had. But where Carla saw opportunity, Miguel saw only dead ends.
They moved to San Diego and settled in a neighborhood that was just as poverty stricken as the one they'd left behind in L.A - even though they both had jobs and could have afforded better. Whenever Carla mentioned moving to a nicer neighborhood, Miguel's response was 'That place is for rich people. Our kind can never live there' Whenever she talked of their children going to college and getting white collar jobs, Miguel would say 'We could never afford it, so why try?'
Carla and Miguel's children never did try very hard. Their son passed up a chance to go to a community college and instead worked as a janitor - until he got into trouble with drugs and ran off to Mexico. Their daughter mixed up with the wrong crowd and had a baby when she was fifteen. Though she is extraordinarily intelligent and would have qualified for several kinds of financial assistance if she had gone on to school, she stopped when she got her high school diploma and took a job in fast food restaurant.
Unquote.
The above is an example of how Miguel's thinking, attitude, beliefs, actions and behavior sabotaged any chance of progress or success for himself or his family. So it is quite true that it is our thinking, actions, behavior, habits and ultimately our life that is a product of subconscious programming and subconscious beliefs stemming from what our parents, family, friends, teachers, society have told or expected from us. And hence, it is not surprising that we ourselves sabotage our own success (even if we do it subconsciously) as it makes us uncomfortable being in variance with our self held beliefs? Here is a test : If someone compliments you, what is your response? Do you automatically deflect it or laugh it off by saying, 'Oh, it's nothing, or it's no big deal? If so, this is a reflection of a poor self image which shows that praise or compliment makes you uncomfortable.
This post also relates to what Snake Head had posted in the M6 thread. http://www.traderji.com/general-tra...y-markets-method-madness-142.html#post1179028
@DSM,
It will be ungrateful, if I pass the whole thread without thanking you. Thank you so much!!
Sometime people are lazy to read books, here it is easy to read all wisdom, puzzles, jokes etc. I can imagine that many people have already come across of short animated videos of psychology books. But who haven't till now can enjoy such kind of short videos. It can save your 2-3 days of reading, and you can get good ideas though not in detail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h6IMYRoCZw
Thanks
rip07
It will be ungrateful, if I pass the whole thread without thanking you. Thank you so much!!
Sometime people are lazy to read books, here it is easy to read all wisdom, puzzles, jokes etc. I can imagine that many people have already come across of short animated videos of psychology books. But who haven't till now can enjoy such kind of short videos. It can save your 2-3 days of reading, and you can get good ideas though not in detail.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h6IMYRoCZw
Thanks
rip07
The forgotten secret to phenomenal success - Mike Hernacki
Do you want to change? It stands to reason if what you have done so far has gotten you what and where you are now If you want something different, you need to do something different. Logical and obvious though this may be, people keep doing the same things over, and expecting different results. That doesn’t work. The first thing you have to change is your mind. And this is the hardest thing to do. The human mind resist change. It often cannot see its own errors, though they may be blatantly obvious to anyone else.
Changing the mind can be frustrating and doubly difficult because there is nothing physically visible or measurable to it. But it’s necessary, because you cannot change your actions unless you change your mind. Authors Arnold Lazarus and Allen Fay lay down four conditions that are necessary for any change to occur.
• You must identify the problem.
• You must accept the possibility that something can be done about it.
• You must express a desire to change.
• You must be willing to work and make and effort to change.
So think about your goals. And then you will come across a stop that will prevent you from taking action, and that’s a ‘but’ and this ‘but’ will paralyze you. E.g say you want to change a job, and the reason for not doing so is a ‘but will I get a good one?’ And unless this ‘but’ is tackled, no progress is possible.
Do you want to change? It stands to reason if what you have done so far has gotten you what and where you are now If you want something different, you need to do something different. Logical and obvious though this may be, people keep doing the same things over, and expecting different results. That doesn’t work. The first thing you have to change is your mind. And this is the hardest thing to do. The human mind resist change. It often cannot see its own errors, though they may be blatantly obvious to anyone else.
Changing the mind can be frustrating and doubly difficult because there is nothing physically visible or measurable to it. But it’s necessary, because you cannot change your actions unless you change your mind. Authors Arnold Lazarus and Allen Fay lay down four conditions that are necessary for any change to occur.
• You must identify the problem.
• You must accept the possibility that something can be done about it.
• You must express a desire to change.
• You must be willing to work and make and effort to change.
So think about your goals. And then you will come across a stop that will prevent you from taking action, and that’s a ‘but’ and this ‘but’ will paralyze you. E.g say you want to change a job, and the reason for not doing so is a ‘but will I get a good one?’ And unless this ‘but’ is tackled, no progress is possible.
World’s most Stupid Jokes
What was the last thing Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship?
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"Ok men, get on the ship"
(Actually, I read this joke and it made me laugh for a few minutes. Later, had a good time asking the same question to my folks, who all gave some serious answers and were annoyed when I gave them the punchline)
***
And another....
Three guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth until I die" POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a great and takes good care of me" Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is wildly in love with me."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I messed up."
***
I recently met a Chinese man in the US and got to know that his name was Kandaswami.
I asked him, "How did you ever get an Indian name like that being a Chinese?"
He said -"Many, many years ago when I first came to USA, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee. The lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?" He replied "Kanndaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
Though this is funny :
In the middle of a fight, husband said, "Let's not quarrel, let's discuss the things sensibly.
"No," said the wife angrily. "Every time we discuss sensibly, I lose!"
***
Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife : Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant to him. Don’t discuss your problems with him. No TV serials, don’t stress him by asking for new clothes and jewellery… Do this for 1 year and he will be ok.
On the way home.
Husband : What did the doctor say ?
Wife : No chance for you to survive
***
Human nature….
There was once a mouse that was in constant distress and worry about the cat. A magician had pity on the mouse and turned it into a cat. But then the cat was scared of the dog. So the magician turned it into a dog. But the dog was now afraid of the panther. So the magician turned it into a panther. Where upon, as a panther it was full of fear of the hunter....
At this point, the magician gave up, and turned it back into a mouse again saying 'Nothing I do for you is going to be of any help, because you have the heart of a mouse.....'
***
And something's that's so true : Life is really simple. It's just the thinking and feelings that make it complicated....
***
What was the last thing Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Ok men, get on the ship"
(Actually, I read this joke and it made me laugh for a few minutes. Later, had a good time asking the same question to my folks, who all gave some serious answers and were annoyed when I gave them the punchline)
***
And another....
Three guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth until I die" POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.
Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a great and takes good care of me" Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is wildly in love with me."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:
"Guys, I think I messed up."
***
I recently met a Chinese man in the US and got to know that his name was Kandaswami.
I asked him, "How did you ever get an Indian name like that being a Chinese?"
He said -"Many, many years ago when I first came to USA, I was standing in line at the Political Asylums Immigration Counter. The man in front of me was a Sri Lankan Tamil refugee. The lady at the counter looked at him and asked "What is your name?" He replied "Kanndaswami".
Then she looked at me and asked "What's your name?"
I said, "Sem Ting".
Though this is funny :
In the middle of a fight, husband said, "Let's not quarrel, let's discuss the things sensibly.
"No," said the wife angrily. "Every time we discuss sensibly, I lose!"
***
Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife : Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant to him. Don’t discuss your problems with him. No TV serials, don’t stress him by asking for new clothes and jewellery… Do this for 1 year and he will be ok.
On the way home.
Husband : What did the doctor say ?
Wife : No chance for you to survive
***
Human nature….
There was once a mouse that was in constant distress and worry about the cat. A magician had pity on the mouse and turned it into a cat. But then the cat was scared of the dog. So the magician turned it into a dog. But the dog was now afraid of the panther. So the magician turned it into a panther. Where upon, as a panther it was full of fear of the hunter....
At this point, the magician gave up, and turned it back into a mouse again saying 'Nothing I do for you is going to be of any help, because you have the heart of a mouse.....'
***
And something's that's so true : Life is really simple. It's just the thinking and feelings that make it complicated....
***
Scam alert
Saw a scam happen in front of my eye at the petrol pump today morning. As I was aware of the modus operandi of the petrol pump attendant (having been cheated there earlier), I was alert. A biker ahead of me in the queue asked for the petrol to be filled for 140 Rs. The attendant filled till 39 and slowed the pumping. At that time, the biker said 'I want petrol for 140' The attendant then engaged the biker in conversation, and stopped filling when the counter read 100. Now this is a psychological trick. The biker is not sure if the attendant cleared the counter to zero, so just asked, and the reply was that 140 rs. fuel was put in the tank, whereas the attendant continued filling from 40 till 100, and not 0 to 100. And so by distracting the biker, he pocketed 40 bucks. Now this kind of tricks are common, and hence motorist need to be aware. So next time you are filling fuel, ensure the counter is zero and not 50, or 100 etc. Secondly, look at the machine while the fuel is being filled as the attendants will try to distract you. The common trick is applicable to cars even. So if you ask to fill fuel for 500, the attendant will stop at 100 or 150. Then when you ask why he stopped, he will say sorry sir, I just heard 100 or 150. Then engaging you in conversation, will stop filling when the counter now reads 400 or 350. Again, the same trick is being played out across fuel stations... so be aware. Sharing my experience.....
Saw a scam happen in front of my eye at the petrol pump today morning. As I was aware of the modus operandi of the petrol pump attendant (having been cheated there earlier), I was alert. A biker ahead of me in the queue asked for the petrol to be filled for 140 Rs. The attendant filled till 39 and slowed the pumping. At that time, the biker said 'I want petrol for 140' The attendant then engaged the biker in conversation, and stopped filling when the counter read 100. Now this is a psychological trick. The biker is not sure if the attendant cleared the counter to zero, so just asked, and the reply was that 140 rs. fuel was put in the tank, whereas the attendant continued filling from 40 till 100, and not 0 to 100. And so by distracting the biker, he pocketed 40 bucks. Now this kind of tricks are common, and hence motorist need to be aware. So next time you are filling fuel, ensure the counter is zero and not 50, or 100 etc. Secondly, look at the machine while the fuel is being filled as the attendants will try to distract you. The common trick is applicable to cars even. So if you ask to fill fuel for 500, the attendant will stop at 100 or 150. Then when you ask why he stopped, he will say sorry sir, I just heard 100 or 150. Then engaging you in conversation, will stop filling when the counter now reads 400 or 350. Again, the same trick is being played out across fuel stations... so be aware. Sharing my experience.....
Attachment in Detachment - Sudha Murti (Edited excerpt, Facebook post)
(A great read, from the perspective of your parents if married)
When my daughter, the older of my two, wed and left home, I felt a part of me gone. With a daughter and a son, I know what both mean, differently. When she was in her teens I felt as if she was my "physical extension" So when she left home to set up her own, I felt I lost a limb. Next time she came to stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed. When she said Amma, she meant her mother-in-law, not me! I felt she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days. That was the first time; it dawned on me that I have to start practicing detachment with attachment.
Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher studies to US. Having experienced a child's separation once, I was better equipped emotionally. I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from Vedanta to healing to ikebana. I just wanted to be away from home since my husband was a 24/7 workaholic. My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us.
After a few years, he did come back and we got him married. He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independent from the beginning. But now, it was all changed! When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like "oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today"! I could see that his priorities had also changed completely.
We talk so many things and give so much advice to others, but when it comes to our own children, acceptance comes very late. Our next step is to just leave them undisturbed in every way. It was at that time, that I made the following, my 'new profile'. In all my relationships, rather interactions, I give my best and do my best to live up to what I say. My attachment with them is complete. However, I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly, I make a conscious effort, not to interfere or pass judgments on the lives they choose to lead. My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment. If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away - this is the beauty of attachment with detachment!
Now I have realized that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum that arises, along with age-related problems. I specially dedicate this post to my friends, who are totally dependent on their children's lives, to nurture their own selves emotionally. Please develop your own interests, hobbies etc, however mundane they seem.
(A great read, from the perspective of your parents if married)
When my daughter, the older of my two, wed and left home, I felt a part of me gone. With a daughter and a son, I know what both mean, differently. When she was in her teens I felt as if she was my "physical extension" So when she left home to set up her own, I felt I lost a limb. Next time she came to stay with us, I was astonished how her priorities had changed. When she said Amma, she meant her mother-in-law, not me! I felt she was always in a hurry to go back to her house and not stay with me for a few more days. That was the first time; it dawned on me that I have to start practicing detachment with attachment.
Two years after my daughter’s marriage, my son left for higher studies to US. Having experienced a child's separation once, I was better equipped emotionally. I plunged head long into various classes held in the city starting from Vedanta to healing to ikebana. I just wanted to be away from home since my husband was a 24/7 workaholic. My son used to write how he was missing my home cooked food, how he was waiting to come back to live in Chennai with us.
After a few years, he did come back and we got him married. He started living separately with his wife and we were also happy that they wanted to be independent from the beginning. But now, it was all changed! When in the U S, he missed my cooking, now if I called him to come over with his wife for a meal, it was always some excuse like "oh, amma, we have other plans for the day, please don't mistake us if we don't drop in today"! I could see that his priorities had also changed completely.
We talk so many things and give so much advice to others, but when it comes to our own children, acceptance comes very late. Our next step is to just leave them undisturbed in every way. It was at that time, that I made the following, my 'new profile'. In all my relationships, rather interactions, I give my best and do my best to live up to what I say. My attachment with them is complete. However, I remain detached in the sense that I do not expect them to reciprocate my affection. Most importantly, I make a conscious effort, not to interfere or pass judgments on the lives they choose to lead. My concern for my near and dear ones will not fade with my detachment. If you let go of the ones you love, they will never go away - this is the beauty of attachment with detachment!
Now I have realized that we start growing mentally much more only after the children leave the house and we have to tackle the emotional vacuum that arises, along with age-related problems. I specially dedicate this post to my friends, who are totally dependent on their children's lives, to nurture their own selves emotionally. Please develop your own interests, hobbies etc, however mundane they seem.
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