Markets & After hours
- Thread starter DSM
- Start date
A Police Officer pulls over a speeding car.
The Officer says, ” I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir .”
The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don”t be silly, dear! You know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once!! ?”
The wife smiles demurely and says, “Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.”
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”
The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you”re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”
The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”
The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you”re driving.”
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON”T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma”am?”
The wife says, “Only when he”s been drinking, officer.”
The Officer says, ” I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir .”
The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don”t be silly, dear! You know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once!! ?”
The wife smiles demurely and says, “Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.”
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”
The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you”re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”
The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”
The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you”re driving.”
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON”T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma”am?”
The wife says, “Only when he”s been drinking, officer.”
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the Maid.
So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: "Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches", and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went into the Maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but had his way with her....
When he finished and was still panting, the wife said: "You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?" And then she switched on the light...
"No madam", said the Gardener…
So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend & didn't tell the husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: "Excuse me my dear, my stomach aches", and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went into the Maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words but had his way with her....
When he finished and was still panting, the wife said: "You didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?" And then she switched on the light...
"No madam", said the Gardener…
Excerpts from a speech by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis
Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporarily here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
http://www.chetanbhagat.com/other-works/speeches/spark/
Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.
Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporarily here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.
http://www.chetanbhagat.com/other-works/speeches/spark/
Once a beautiful family, A Boy, His mom & dad, and his grandpa and grandma..
One day before going to bed with is parents, the boy said good night dad, goodnight mom, goodnight grandma and goodbye grandpa..This is listened by his dad but he forgot it.
Early in the morning, grandpa nomore...everybody sad and funeral over..
Next day before going to bed , the boy said good night dad, goodnight mom and goodbye grandma ...This is listened by his dad and he doubted about grandma on next day..
Same thing happened, grandma nomore...
Next day the man was very eager about his son's words and he afraid who will be next..
Boy said goodnight ma and goodbye dad...As this words listened my his father shocked and went out of the house..he spent whole night on the roads..by sunshine he is alive and he is very happy that his son's words didn' work..
He went to his home then his wife shouting at him and said this milkman dead early hours of this morning and where have you been ????
One day before going to bed with is parents, the boy said good night dad, goodnight mom, goodnight grandma and goodbye grandpa..This is listened by his dad but he forgot it.
Early in the morning, grandpa nomore...everybody sad and funeral over..
Next day before going to bed , the boy said good night dad, goodnight mom and goodbye grandma ...This is listened by his dad and he doubted about grandma on next day..
Same thing happened, grandma nomore...
Next day the man was very eager about his son's words and he afraid who will be next..
Boy said goodnight ma and goodbye dad...As this words listened my his father shocked and went out of the house..he spent whole night on the roads..by sunshine he is alive and he is very happy that his son's words didn' work..
He went to his home then his wife shouting at him and said this milkman dead early hours of this morning and where have you been ????
Some of the Trading Wisdom... I like.
There is no Holy Grail trading system.
You're wrong until you're proven right.
No-one can predict the next move.
The nature of the markets is uncertainty. Novices lose because they seek certainty where it doesn't exist. Professionals succeed because they learn to live with the uncertainty.
Trading is the art of facing your greatest fears without flinching.
The markets are not a source of fear, but rather they reveal to the trader the fear that already exists within them.
You can't have success until you let go of the need for it.
The most important lessons in trading, each trader must learn for themselves.
All trading decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
We must learn the power of trading with our helplessness.
The only victory lies in surrender to oneself.
All of the significant battles are waged within the self.
You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again.
Get a notebook. And create the second greatest trading book in the world. It costs nothing. But it's value is priceless.
- Lance Beggs.
__________________
There is no Holy Grail trading system.
You're wrong until you're proven right.
No-one can predict the next move.
The nature of the markets is uncertainty. Novices lose because they seek certainty where it doesn't exist. Professionals succeed because they learn to live with the uncertainty.
Trading is the art of facing your greatest fears without flinching.
The markets are not a source of fear, but rather they reveal to the trader the fear that already exists within them.
You can't have success until you let go of the need for it.
The most important lessons in trading, each trader must learn for themselves.
All trading decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
We must learn the power of trading with our helplessness.
The only victory lies in surrender to oneself.
All of the significant battles are waged within the self.
You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again.
Get a notebook. And create the second greatest trading book in the world. It costs nothing. But it's value is priceless.
- Lance Beggs.
__________________
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