A bit of humor

#52
Your Wish, Sir?

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.



The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.



The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart! "Where on earth did you get that?" says the bartender.



The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: "Here. Rub it."



So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. "I will grant you one wish. Just one wish, each person is only allowed one!"



The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, "I want a million bucks!" A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed by another duck, then another. pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!



The bartender turns to the man and says, "Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks."



"Tell me about it!!" says the man, "do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist!
 
#53
HEAVEN---IT Enabled!
Roles in Heaven :


Brahma
Systems Installation


Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support


Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant


Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management


Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)


Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation


Narada
Data transfer


Yama
Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant


Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records


Apsaras
Viruses


Devas
Mainframe Programmers


Surya
Solaris Administrator


Rakshasas
In house Hackers


Ravan
! ;Internet Explorer WWWF


Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process


Lakshman
Support Software and Backup


Hanuman
Linux/s390


Vaali
MS Windows


Sugreeva
DOS


Jatayu
Firewall


Dronacharya
System Programmer


Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects


Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion


Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)


Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )


Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)


Arjun
Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)


Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer


Draupadi
Motivation


Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM


Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB


Karna
Contract programmer


Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++


Gandhari
Dreamweaver


100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches




J
 

trader21

Active Member
#56
Non-tech guys, if u wanna learn C language here is a easy to understand program to get started.

lol.. dunno if this has been already posted:

C Program to Propose a girl*/
#include<STD ISD PCO.h>
#include <mobile.h>
#include<sms.h>
#include<love.h>
#define Cute beautiful_lady

main()
{
goto college;
scanf("100%",&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute)
line++;
while( !reply )
{

printf("I Love U");

scanf("100%",&reply);

}

if(reply == "GAALI")
main(); _/* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")
exit(1);



else if(reply == "I Love U")
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}

if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;

cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++;

}
}
 
Last edited:
#58
Thank you all for your appreciation. Here is a another one :A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City." Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the stockbroker, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven." "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a stockbroker-- he gets a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff? How can this be?" "Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; his clients, they prayed!"

and on that note a very happy Dushera to all members.
Have heard this many times,but had a good laugh all over again :D .........the "Humour" threads are great to go through at the end of the day after going through war at the markets.

Saint
 

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