A post I read on the net

My Dear Analyst,
I have been a great follower of yours. Each day I used to rise with what you were speaking from Tokyo and went to bed with what you were preaching from New York. I bought when you told me to and sold when you scared me to. During the NASDAQ run I made a few multibaggers but then lost all of it. You would remember how you scolded me for not having applied stop losses. That was after the stocks went below those levels. But I continued to believe in you and your community. I made money in banking, sugar and construction, lost a few here and there. On the whole I did not do better than what I could have managed myself but still I enjoyed each moment of it . In June I lost quite a fortune on your Sterlite and Hindustan Zinc call. That was because the LME prices fell and I was taken off guard. As usual you rebuked me for not having put in stop losses.
During the current carnage when the index fell to 8800 one particular member from your community stormed the TV channels from Hong Kong and preached gloom, boom and doom . The local ones told me to stay away till the dust gets settled. Again I obliged and cut all my long positions converting them for cash. I booked profits in all the counters that I had got in early . This was because you advised me to take the profits home. For the losers you advised that there is no point selling at these levels and as it always happens I listened.
Investors wishing to save themselves from the bloom gloom and doom were advised me to go on a long holiday. I could not go on that holiday since it would have cost money. Another member from your community asked me to keep 30% in cash, a few told me to wait for the US interest rate cues while the others were preparing for a US led global recession and urged gulliable investors like me to buy gold and silver. Theysaid that these would be the saviors.
At an index level of 8800 the largest fund house from the land of the rising sun talked about an index level of 7000 above which they would not invest. Does any one know what they did after making that statement?
When ever I asked you something you were uncomfortable in responding .You called it momentum and I thought that these stocks were for the greedy. But after having suffered because of my shortcomings (in not being able to understand you correctly) I have a few questions:
1) Doctors, engineers, accountants do pass some examinations before being called experts. They undergo rigorous training and then only they are allowed to advise. Do you along with members of your community undergo the same test before advising millions of fools like me on Tv?
2) Do you ever look back and see how many of your recommendations went right and how many went wrong. If so how so if not why not?
3) Do you ever feel guilty either morally or ethically when investors lose money on your recommendations?
4) You have a habit of using vague words like:
n Buy on declines
n Should give you 20% return . Whether the stock is at Rs 700 or Rs 850 you talk of the same 20% returns.
n Cautious optimism.
n Apply strict stop losses - Please name me one person who has made money by applying strict stop losses except the person who sells subscription for such advice.
n Momentum investing - If buying on a break out and selling on stop losses is not momentum investing then what is? Yet you prefer to talk of stocks that you do not understand as momentum investing.
5) Most of the time your analysis is historic. You say this stock has made a 52 week high at so and so and then retraced itself to so and so and now is trading at so and so. You know the introduction that takes 70% of you analysis does not help me. I can see it in the pink papers and that costs Rs 2.00 only.
6) I am tired of hearing words like supports, resistances, 200 day moving averages, Fibonacci, retracements, RSI's etc .
7) Each day you looked at the NASDAQ and the Nikkei and told us where we would go . Over the last 5 years the NASDAQ has gone no where but we have gone up by more then 4 times. Do you remember the critical days when you went wrong?
8) When stocks fell you blamed sentiment when they went up you said liquidity . Why can't you tell us before hand as to what will happen? Otherwise there is no difference between you and me.
Yours Truly
"The small investor"
A bruised battered and mauled Bull


posted by nakul ????

And deservedly so


B/W I saw it here first

http://valuestockplus.blogspot.com/2...een-great.html


CV

Hi Kolossal
excellent job bringing up this post

Definition of a Bull Market :- " When a Moron thinks he is a Genius ".

Namaskaram!

I have come to hear from my sources that your Esteemed Organisation is on the look out for a Street Accountant.
Please humbly accept my Application for the said Post.
I have 5 Yrs Work Experience in HCI(Havala Corporation of India) as CFD(Chief Financial Damager).
HCI was Promoted by Ramesh Chooswala and Harish Dalal in 2001.
Equity Rs 10 Crores(Promoters 30%,Public 70%)
Debt Rs 40 Crores(Financial Institutions).
First Year we showed Sales 50 Crores Profit 10 Crores.Paid 10% Dividend.
Second Year as we were in expansion mode we showed our Bankers orders for 400 Crores and borrowed further 200 Crores.We declared Sales 150 Crores Profits 55 Crores.
Market Price of our Rs 10 share shot up to 550.PE of 10 and forward PE of 3.
To take full advantage of booming Market we tied up with Ramesh Chunchunwala a Broker.He assured us real value of our share was 3000.So we gave him 10% shares to help him help us find our real Value.Within 6 months he boosted us our MP to Rs 3000/ps.The Company Valuation became 3000 Crores.
Investment Bankers from Doll Street NY started visiting.Quickly we issued 10 lakh Shares at Rs 3000 and pocketed Rs 300 crores.
Next we showed Suppliers Orders for 500 Crores and convinced them to give Raw Materials for 200 Crores on credit.We promptly Sold it in the Market pocketed 190 Crores.
So far Chooswala and Partner pocketed 200+300+190crores.This was Peanuts.They sold all their shares in th Market and pocketed 600 Crores.
Creditors came and we showed our empty pockets.After hard bargaining with them we agreed to settle Rs 2 for every 15 owed.1 Rupee immediately and balance over 3 Yrs.They took away Raw Materials and Machinery.

In the Market the stories spread and share fell from 2000 to 3.50.We went into Market bought 80 lakh shares or nearly 80% of Equity paying mere 2.55 Crores.We paid off Creditors balance money,became Debt free.
Our land Value had shot up from 5 Crores to 580 Crores.When Market found out about our Land Bank share shot UP like Rocket.

SAAR,on Rs 3 Crores Investment we made about 1000 Crores in less than 3 Yrs.The Company is still prospering and Market is rewarding the Management.

I now want to take up a more challenging Assignment.

I can produce Recommendation Letter from KFactorji,if neccesary.Periwinkle Amma will vouch for my Spiritual Qualities.

Looking Forward to your favourable reply and Thanking You in Advance.


A considerable form of application I pick up from a site

Let the market decide .
The market knows... etc

Means Everyone knows & you don't.

Hillarious and provided some good insight and ideas.

Regards,
--Ashish