One flower too many…….a tribute to the fallen

jaideep · #1 2nd May 2006, 09:27 PM

And…the Lord looked down upon His creation,
With an euphoric feeling of great satisfaction;
Yes! The flowers in the gardens looked all so very nice,
The fragrance Hmm!!, no superlatives would suffice.

So He set amongst them the butterflies & the bees,
Not for them the bushes, the plants & the trees;
Honey for their food & pollen they would carry,
From one flower to another, this way flowers would marry.

But… Satan was watching, with both horns & tail a-twiching,
Deviously plotting & venomously scheming;
So he set amongst them the worms & the grubs,
To gnaw at the flowers & snip them down to stubs.

‘Tis the balance of Nature says a wise old Man,
And we all nod our heads as well as we can;
But there’s something that’s not as well as can be,
‘Tis for us to look & for us to see.

There’s no Heaven or Hell, ‘tis all in the mind,
If you want to see the Devil, he’s not hard to find;
Just look around you & you’ll see a few thorns,
And maybe some tails & even some horns.

Your brother or sister or lover or friend,
The list is so long, it may never ever end;
Who do you trust or give a side-long glance,
Today ‘tis less design & really more of chance.

The news of late is all just grizzly & gore,
Yet we masos & sados yearn to lap up even more; …(masochists & sadists)
The Jessicas, the Pramods, the Suryas & their kind,
The peace their souls thirst for, ‘tis doubtful they’ll ever find.

The Police for one are just not following the text, …(Jessica.. RIP)
Filial ties are flimsy, they’re under the scanner next; ...(Pramod still fighting bravely)
So what do you say of one who bravely gave his life,
To help his fellow men in a land so full of strife? …(Suryanarayan.. RIP)

Had to add the connotations to explain who I'm referring to. This may make my poem understood more widely. At least that's what I imagine perhaps. Any objections to this & I'll remove them pronto.

AMITBE · #2 2nd May 2006, 11:57 PM

Jaideep, this is one of your best that I have read.
Powerful, and yet sensitive and lyrical.
Keep giving them to us.

I'd say remove the connotations from next to the text. That's intrusive I feel.
Besides the rhyme and meter, visual aesthetics are important even for poetry.
Make foot notes, colour code or something like it, but do get rid of those connotations from where they are positioned.

Thanks for everything, Jaideep.

feels_good_today · #3 3rd May 2006, 02:52 AM

exquisitely written sir dont have words as always. I just finished watching 'The thin red line' on movies tonight and when I logged in here I see this poem and it touches me more than would have in any other time, maybe was just in the moood for such a poem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaideep

But… Satan was watching, with both horns & tail a-twiching,
Deviously plotting & venomously scheming;
So he set amongst them the worms & the grubs,
To gnaw at the flowers & snip them down to stubs.

‘Tis the balance of Nature says a wise old Man,
And we all nod our heads as well as we can;
But there’s something that’s not as well as can be,
‘Tis for us to look & for us to see.

There’s no Heaven or Hell, ‘tis all in the mind,
If you want to see the Devil, he’s not hard to find;
Just look around you & you’ll see a few thorns,
And maybe some tails & even some horns.

Your brother or sister or lover or friend,
The list is so long, it may never ever end;
Who do you trust or give a side-long glance,
Today ‘tis less design & really more of chance.

I have watched that movie several times but couldnt resist tonight from watchin it again (i like war movies). Here r some lines frm that movie which I like most, I dare to put them in this post

"This great evil.

Where's it come from?

How'd it steal into the world?

What seed, what root did it grow from?

Who's doing this?

Who's killing us?

Robbing us of life and light.

Mocking us with the sight
of what we might have known.

Does our ruin benefit the Earth?

Does it help the grass to grow
or the sun to shine?"

Thanks for posting.

joy_mitali · #4 3rd May 2006, 10:01 AM

Hi jaideep,
U r really unparallel----It really made me get lost for a long time before I could reunite myself--
Plz ---do be a bit more frequent with ur works of poetry---
Regards,
joy_mitali

vedhaas · #5 3rd May 2006, 04:33 PM

hi jaideep,

that was a soul stirring one. it is true there is no heaven and hell. it is what we make out of the circumstances and instances.

this one is real good.

keep up the good work.

regards
vyas

jaideep · #6 3rd May 2006, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by feels_good_today

exquisitely written sir dont have words as always. I just finished watching 'The thin red line' on movies tonight and when I logged in here I see this poem and it touches me more than would have in any other time, maybe was just in the moood for such a poem....

....I have watched that movie several times but couldnt resist tonight from watchin it again (i like war movies). Here r some lines frm that movie which I like most, I dare to put them in this post....

Thanks for posting.

Echoing my sentiments, that's what you're doing f_g_t my dear friend. Don't know why but I feel drawn to you as you seem to share my passionate love for war movies, especially WWII.

Maybe you know or not but I'm an ex-Naval officer and more particularly a graduate from the National Defence Academy. Passed out way back in 1967 which makes me vintage of sorts I suppose.

"The Thin Red Line" was one of my favourite movies too which I saw way back in 1966 & repeatedly thereafter. I have a whole string of war movies that I drool over........"The Longest Day"......"The Battle of the Bulge".... "A Bridge Too Far"...."633 Squadron".... "Midway"....."Tora Tora"...."From Here To Eternity".....etc......all the KW (Korean War) ones......all the Nam movies........even the '65 Indo-Pak war movies. That's how addicted I'm to war movies. Glad that I have company f_g_t 'cause the wife thinks even now that I'm nuts.

rangarajan · #7 3rd May 2006, 09:31 PM

Dear Jaideep,
when i read the names of war movies,i became nostalgic & remembered those good old days.I,an engineer by profession & in my laaa---te fifties( or is it early sixties) , spent some time in early service at CME.
Perhaps ,for want of space,you had not mentioned many of my favourite war movies.I am an odd man out in my family whenever i speak of those fine movies when technology was not at its best.
By the way,to be honest,i really enjoy myself in this forum in the midst of lot of well learned & enthusiastic youngsters who always share their knowledge readily & learn new things even at this age.My thanks to one & all.The jokes threads are a real class by themselves.
Best of lucks,
ranga

pkjha30 · #8 4th May 2006, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaideep

So what do you say of one who bravely gave his life,
To help his fellow men in a land so full of strife?

"When You Go Home, Tell Them Of Us And Say,
For Your Tomorrow, We Gave Our Today"

( Kohima Epitaph.)

You made me cry for the fallen. I could remember the above lines and also beautiful song of Lata ji penned by Kavi Pradeep.

Few give life for others.Let us not forget that he gave his life for people unknown.

Coming to war movies

You mentioned some of my favourites too... The longest Day, A Bridge Too Far

A Bridge on River Kwai and Killing Fields are some of the best remembered movies not mentioned here.

This Forum is enriched by your presence.

I remember somewhere you mentioned that you are ex-army. My grand Father is also ex army. He tells us lot of stories(Real ones of survival defeat victory and love for country and deaths . I know you too would have such experiences and you are sharing it in the form of poetry. That is the reason why it is so moving.

Thanks jaideep for giving us wonderful experience
Pankaj

Saint · #9 4th May 2006, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaideep

And…the Lord looked down upon His creation,
With an euphoric feeling of great satisfaction;
Yes! The flowers in the gardens looked all so very nice,
The fragrance Hmm!!, no superlatives would suffice.

So He set amongst them the butterflies & the bees,
Not for them the bushes, the plants & the trees;
Honey for their food & pollen they would carry,
From one flower to another, this way flowers would marry.

But… Satan was watching, with both horns & tail a-twiching,
Deviously plotting & venomously scheming;
So he set amongst them the worms & the grubs,
To gnaw at the flowers & snip them down to stubs.

‘Tis the balance of Nature says a wise old Man,
And we all nod our heads as well as we can;
But there’s something that’s not as well as can be,
‘Tis for us to look & for us to see.

There’s no Heaven or Hell, ‘tis all in the mind,
If you want to see the Devil, he’s not hard to find;
Just look around you & you’ll see a few thorns,
And maybe some tails & even some horns.

Your brother or sister or lover or friend,
The list is so long, it may never ever end;
Who do you trust or give a side-long glance,
Today ‘tis less design & really more of chance.

Yet another masterpiece from you,my friend........and a big thanks for keeping us rooted to the perspective that Life is more than just trading or the markets.

Looking forward to many more!

Saint

feels_good_today · #10 4th May 2006, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaideep

Maybe you know or not but I'm an ex-Naval officer and more particularly a graduate from the National Defence Academy. Passed out way back in 1967 which makes me vintage of sorts I suppose.

I didnt knew that sir. Respect comes with defence services so nothing new if I say I respect persons from that pack. I think spending some time of one's life in defence services is the best a man can opt for as it develops a lot of virtues in him like discipline, organisational skills, teamwork and many more but most importantly respect for freedom. People specially in india dont know the cost of freedom that we live in. The warmth of the 'blanket of freedom' is taken for granted in india and that's kinda scary too me because I think its one of the reasons we dont respect our rights as a citizen of this country and at times rights of others too.

I can write a lot on this

but dont want to kill someone's time we all know what I am saying.

U gave a gr8 list of movies but just 1 more frm my side "Band of Brothers" liked that 1 too. Also, saving private ryan............... cant stop.

Thanks for reading.

Similar Threads for: One flower too many…….a tribute to the fallen
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
To our very own Traderji - A Tribute	jaideep	General Chit Chat	7	8th February 2006 09:59 PM
Stockstars- A tribute to chupa rustams of the stockmarket	sh50	Equities	9	9th January 2006 09:41 AM
A tribute...A dream	jaideep	General Chit Chat	6	15th November 2005 08:13 PM
Tribute to the real heros	sh50	General Chit Chat	3	18th February 2005 07:55 PM