Ajoke aDay

How to identify cities in INDIA??


Scenario 1

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.

You are in Kolkata



Scenario 2

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks

on.

That's Mumbai



Scenario 3

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace.The first two get together & beat him up.

That's Delhi



Scenario 4



Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall

That's Ahmedabad.



Scenario 5

Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.

That's Bangalore



Scenario 6

Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and

quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace comes in.

That's Chennai.



Scenario 7

Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.

You are DEFINITELY IN BIHAR

Scenario 8

Two guys are fighting. 100 people assemble, and the whole road is full of red paan

You are in HYDERABAD....

satya (hyd)...

Think I have heard this one somewhere,but any reason to laugh is sincerely appreciated.

Keep em coming,my friends.

Saint

an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

a garlic a day leeps everybody away !



but, a joke a day keeps everybody HAPPY.

all the best.

murthymsr

Suddenly there was paucity of jokes in this forum ,untill 'feels good today' arrived inthe scene.Good going after a strenuous(!) trading.Throughly enjoyed & it would be a pleasure if more forum members participate.
ranga

Thanks all. In the present market time its hard to smile, but still a some stuff to try.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Microsoft Knows How To Get Things Done

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that this

computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.


Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.


Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup

and it will fix the probl em! All I need is for you to tell me the

command.


10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech

is frustrated and fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our

Customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix

the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the

CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.



10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with

NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you

the file. Let me know how it goes.


1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told h im about what you said, and he

started asking questions about the make of power supply.



Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

--------------------------------------------------------



Appraisal letter



Dear Manager (HR),

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.


Signed - Project Leader


A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:

"That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report
sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7, 9,11, 13) for my true assessment of him."

too good, hope my PL doesnt write anything like that on me

Hi all, today we dont need any reason to laugh. But still,

---------------------------------------------

Hitler

Hittler walks into a fortune tellers shop and asks to get his hand read,
the fortune teller looks at his palm and sez to hittler "you will die on a jewish holiday", hittler looks suprized at the remark and asks "what do u mean"
the fortune teller looks him right in the eyes and sez "hittler, i dont even need to read your palm to tell u that any day u die will be a jewish holiday"


----------------------------------------------

Dark Confession

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.


Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't. I sold them."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

The son says "$1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that.

That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."


-----------------------------------------------------

Boys will be boys

A new lady teacher came to teach 8th standard students. As it was the

first day, she gave her intro, and asked all the students to
Introduce themselves with name and hobby. She said, "Let's start with the boys first". Boys start giving their intro...
First boy: "My name is John, and my hobby is to see bubble in the Bathtub".
Teacher was confused to listen but said, "Interesting. Well, Ok. In
fact, we must be honest in telling the hobby. And after all there is
essentially a child in each of us. So it's ok John. Yes next".
Second boy: "Myself Peter and my hobby is to see bubble in the
bathtub."
Teacher now got surprised and said, "Good. I like the spirit of
supporting a friend. Ok next".
Third boy: "I'm Smith and my hobby is to see bubble in the bathtub".
Teacher: "Guys are you joking or what? Please be sincere. Ok next".
This continues...
And the last boy stands up "I'm Harry and my hobby is to see Bubble
in the bathtub".
Exhausted, the teacher said, "I don't think I will be able to teach
un-grown boys for long. Anyway, now the girls please."
First girl: "I'm Julie and my hobby is to see birds".
Teacher: "Good. At last I got something different.
Ok next".
Second girl: "I'm Ruby and I like to collect perfumes".
Teacher "Now it's like educated grown up girls. Ok next.
You sweet Girl; Yes you..."
Most beautiful girl of the class gets up:
"Mam, my name is Bubble, and my hobby is to take bath three times a
day"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

fantastic !!!!!!!!!
My hooby is to see bubble in the bathtub.....

ganeshhity

Mine too