Jokes, Humours and shayaris !!!!!!

Hope this is a sign that sudoku1 is getting back in action! Thanks!

Effect
You write down the following 8 digit number on a piece of paper:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9

Then ask a friend to circle one of the digits. Say that they circle number 7.

You then ask your friend to multiply the 8 digit number by 63, and magically the result ends up being:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 9
x 6 3
7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

with the answer as a row of the chosen number 7.

The Secret
When your friend circles a number, you need to multiply the chosen number by 9 in your head - if 3 was chosen you would work out 3 x 9 = 27. Then you need to ask your friend to multiply the 8 digit number by the number you have just worked out. In the case of 3 being chosen you ask your friend to multiply 12345679 by 27 and you magically get the answer 333333333.

Rabridevi in heaven


rabri devi died and went to heaven (don't laugh). As she stood in front of yamraj, she saw a huge wall of clock behind.

She asked, what are all those clocks ?

Yamraj answered, those are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lieclock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.

Oh, said rabri, who's clock is that ?

That's goutam buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.

And whose clock is that ?

That's abraham lincon's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that abraham only told two lies in his intire life.

Rabri asked, where's my laloo's clock ?

Laloo's clock is in my office, replied yamraj, i am using it as a ceiling fan.

GOLD AND AFTER


The country’s population is thrilled that Abhinav Bindra got a Gold Medal at Olympic Games. But the Sports Ministry is in a state of shock. As soon as the news broke out, the Sports Ministry went into an emergency meeting to discuss the fall out of the event.



The Sports Minister with a grim face turned to the secretary and said “You said we won’t win a single medal. How did the goof up happen? Was the Olympic contingent selected properly? For years we have never won any medal and now there is a base created on which we would be assessed.”



The secretary replied “I’m sorry sir. We don’t know how things went wrong. We had hand picked the participants and ensured that they will get knocked out of the games in the first round itself. It amazes me how this chap Abhinav got better of us. May be he is some sort of a prodigy with rifle. I’m told he has a large backyard where he used to practice shooting regularly.”



The Sports Minister scowled “You know what this means. People’s expectations have gone up. It puts unnecessary pressure on the other participants to perform and get medals. Poor guys, they have not even done sight seeing of half Beijing and you have pushed them into gruelling competition.”



“Shall we black out the news?” the secretary asked.



“No all the channels have already broken the news and we cannot retract now” said the minister. “Let’s immediately constitute an inquiry to find out how the whole thing got messed up. Meanwhile prepare a list of the participants who could do further damage to our credibility. Also keep me briefed about the status on ongoing basis, will you?”



The secretary spoke “Yes sir, Narang and Rajput are out of rifle shooting. And there is further good news on the tennis front. Sania Mirza is out and so are Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi.”



The Sports Minister stroked his chin thoughtfully and continued “Sania Mirza, Leander Paes, Mahesh Bhupathi are all sensible people. They go to every international competition and they come back without tinkering with the records. They are not interested to meet the President Pratibha Patil and get their cheeks stroked. I suppose the women athletes are behaving well?”



“There is good news on that front too. Preeja Sreedharan is 25th in 10,000m and does not stand a ghost of a chance to enter the finals. The only threat is from Haryana Boxer Akhil who beat the erstwhile world champion yesterday and is vying for a Gold Medal in Bantam weight. If he succeeds we have got to ready the President for another meeting with the Gold Medalist.”



The Sport Minister said “Don’t worry I’ll do that. Anyway on the safe side prepare a note on what Bantam weight is all about and who is this Akhil so that the President is warned of the danger of stroking the cheeks of a Bantam weight champion when he comes face to face with her. Also should Akhil win the title, tell him to go soft on the President and not treat her as one more of his opponent.”



“Is that all? Or anything more needs to be done?”

“There is one last thing you should do” said the minister “Release a press note saying that UPA government believes in peace and non-violence and is in no way responsible for rise in sales of rifles arising out of Abhinav Bindra’s success at Olympic Games and mark one copy to Advani without fail.”

Here is a Math Trick 4 all of u

Multiply Up to 20X20 In Your MIND
In just FIVE minutes you should learn to quickly multiply up to 20x20 in your mind. With this trick, you will be able to multiply any two numbers from 11 to 19 in your mind quickly, without the use of a calculator.
I will assume that you know your multiplication table reasonably well up to 10x10.

Try this:


Take 15 x 13 for an example.
Always place the larger number of the two on top in your mind.
Then draw the shape of Africa mentally so it covers the 15 and the 3 from the 13 below. Those covered numbers are all you need.
First add 15 + 3 = 18
Add a zero behind it (multiply by 10) to get 180.
Multiply the covered lower 3 x the single digit above it the "5" (3x5= 15)
Add 180 + 15 = 195.

That is It! Wasn't that easy? Practice it on paper first!

A PATIENT wrote a LOVE letter with his BLOOD to a Nurse & said, "Khat ka jawab zarur dena".

Nurse replied: "Blood group B+ & Heamoglobin 12.0"

1 sharabi ...baraf ka tukda haath me lekar gour se dekh raha tha........
2nd- kya kar rahe ho?
1st- Dekh raha hun ke Leak kahan se ho raha hai...........

hahahaahahahah

SARDAR in ARABIA

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got
arrested consuming alcohol which
is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so
for the terrible crime they are
all sentenced 20 lashes each of the
whip.
As they were preparing for their
punishment, the Sheik announced:

"It's my first wife's birthday today,
and she has asked me to allow
each of you one wish before your
whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought
for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."

This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back."

But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said:
"You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For
this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my
first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."


"Not only are you an honorable, handsome

and powerful man, you are also
very brave." The Sheik said with an
admiring look on his face.


"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

"And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked.

Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back" !!!

Indian Programmer

An American, a Cuban, a Scotsman and an Indian Computer
Programmer, were on a cruise ship. As they were standing on the open
deck, watching the waves and chatting, each one started showing off.
The Cuban took out a expensive Cuban cigar, lit it, took just one puff
and tossed it into the sea. The other guys were flabbergasted. They
asked him why he had to throw away such an expensive thing.
The Cuban replied, "Where I come from, we have plenty of these. So, it
is no big deal".
Not to be outdone, the Scotsman pulled out a new bottle of expensive
scotch whisky, opened it, took just one sip and threw the bottle into
the sea. He simply looked at the others and said
"It is no big deal! We have plenty of that stuff where I come from".



The American just grabbed the Indian Programmer and ........threw him
into
the sea........