Jokes, Humours and shayaris !!!!!!

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it. Often happens in life

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Reshma,

Please answer the following questionnaire.

For Options (a)10 marks, (b) 5marks and (c) 3 marks.

1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight always falls on me because:

(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?

2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn and look at me because:

(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:

(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your child photo, when I asked for it, you hide it because:

(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:

(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...

(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:

(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day, you came with a
rose on your head because:

(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 AM because:

(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual

If you have scored more than 40, then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.

If you have scored between 30 and 40, love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom.

If you have scored less than 30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.


Eagerly awaiting your reply..
love,
Aakash




Reshma's reply letter was also in Q/A format........

Aakash,

Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.

1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people entering the
class, sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No

2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the songs, will he/she stop singing or not ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower, banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question, then I am not loving you.

If you have answered "No", then you don't know the meaning of Love.


Hope everything is clear to you.
Reshma

Life and a Cup of Coffee

------------------------



When things in your life seem almost too much
to

handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar......and the coffee.



A professor stood before his philosophy class and
had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.



He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles

And poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled
into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and

poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes."



The professor then produced two cups of coffee

From under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar,effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.



"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,

"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.



The golf ball are the important things—your family,

your children, your health, your friends, your favorite

passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained,your life would still be full.



The pebbles are the other things that matter like

your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first,"

he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you

spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,

you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your

children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take

your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18 holes.



There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."





One of the students raised her hand and inquired

what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

A Sardaarji and his son went to attend a marriage reception. Sardaarji was a miserly person and used to make 'paisa wasool' during such occasions by eating as much food as possible. He told his son also to eat maximum possible food to make 'paisa wasool'

They sat down side by side to have food. The feast started. Sardaarji started tucking in as much as possible. Then he noticed his son frequently drinking water while taking food. Sardaar nudged him with his elbow, stared at him and whispered not to drink water. But his beta (puttr) continued to drink water occasionally while taking food. Sardaar was very angry. But he restrained himself because others might watch.

After the reception they reached home. Sardaar called his son and slapped him hard and told "Saala, kitna baar bola, khaney ke saath paani math piya karo. Pet paani se bhar gaya to khaana kounsa pet mein jaayega, saala?'

Puttr told "Papaji, beech mein paani peene se jyaada khaana khaa saktey hai".

"Woh kaisey, bewakoof"? asked papaji.

Puttr then brought a one-foot tall measuring vessel and filled it with sand. When the vessel was full of sand, he poured some water into the sand. The sand settled down and the vessel had some more space in it. He again filled the vessel with sand, poured water, sand settled and the vessel had some more space. He repeated this four times. Then told "Dekho Papaji, khaana ke saath paani peeyega to aisa hota hai. Shaadi mein aap se jyaada khaana mai khaaya hoga".

Sardaar slapped puttr hard again, this time twice.

Puttr asked "Ab kyon maar rahe ho"?
"Saala, yeh idea udhar kyum nahi bataya mujhe" Asked the Sardaar.

wowwww bottle was not enough ...........hahahaahaha

santa banta se....". yaar banta ye batha shaadi k samay pati atni haath kyu pakadthe hai..."
banta fat se......".oye itna bhi tujhe nahi patha ... kushti se pahle hamesha dono pahalwaan haath milaathe hai...."


santa marriage cirtificate ko ek ghante se dekhe jaa raha tha... us par banta ne..."yaar banta tu apne marriage cirtificate pe itne der se kya dekh rahe ho..."
santa..."expiry date dhoondh raha hoon"


santa aur banta ko 3 bomb mile jise woh pilice station pahunchaane gaye...
raaste mai santa ne poocha" yaar banta agar is mai se ek phat gaya tho hum kya karenge..."
banta ne..." oye koi nahi hum kah denge hume do hi mile the..."

Don't use mobile inside Toilet


I was barely sitting down when i heard a voice from the other stall saying : "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom But i don't know what got into me, so i answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin just fine!"

And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so i say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point im just trying to get out as fast as i can when i hear i hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but i figured i could just be polite and end the conversation. i tell him, "No....... I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then i hear guy say nervously... .

Listen. i'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my
questions!!!"

Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji's Brother owns an apple shop in US.

One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple's price,
tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet
or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not.

If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.

Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ?

Sardarji replied $2 a pound. Lady said; all sardarji's are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are, some are not. Lady got frustrated and said, I
will take you to police station.

Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will take..

So thats what all the guys who frequent our dear mods(Saint) popular thread do.
Meant in a lighter vein saint. Hope you don't mind.

An intraday trader said to his wife ---Darling , meri umar 40 ho gayee aur tum 25 paar hi nahi karti why??? wife- kya karu darling 26 par resistance hai but dont wory 24 par strong support hai.....ha ha ha

A repaired phone installed......

first message aftr installation...:

'CONGRATS.ur phone has been installed with a new puzzle game.....
To play...........throw ur phone against the wall.....
Then assemble the pieces'..........