Jokes, Humours and shayaris !!!!!!

Mr_Market · #**711** 22nd July 2008, 08:53 PM

Begin with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, and all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon the monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.

pkjha30 · #**712** 22nd July 2008, 08:58 PM

This is KingFisher Cooking Gas Delivery.

Courtesy Vijay Mallaya

and people thought I am always serious

uasish · #**713** 23rd July 2008, 12:49 AM

Even if now it is Rs 20 - Rs 30 more,husband will not object.
The wife will scold the maid to use it sparingly otherwise SHE will again come.

N.B. Assuming Husband always is at Home,being a Trader like us.

pkjha30 · #**714** 23rd July 2008, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uasish

Even if now it is Rs 20 - Rs 30 more,husband will not object.
The wife will scold the maid to use it sparingly otherwise SHE will again come.

N.B. Assuming Husband always is at Home,being a Trader like us.

and less subsidy for Govt more happiness for Husbands working from House. trouble for working wives. They would be searching for jobs at home
pk

ravalsb · #**715** 23rd July 2008, 06:12 PM

Hi, this thread has been the inspiration for me to write:

Le Jao Kaha Zamaane mein, Market ki Rally ko;
Ki Options se bhi Ab Positions Hedge Karai nahi Jaati,
Aur Bhar-Bhar ke jo banayi thi Positions Short ki,
Ab ek hi Din mein Cover Karai nahi Jaati....

Adaab Arz Hai....

Regards

Cactus · #**716** 23rd July 2008, 10:37 PM

wah......wah......kya baat hai.
one more please.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ravalsb

Hi, this thread has been the inspiration for me to write:

Le Jao Kaha Zamaane mein, Market ki Rally ko;
Ki Options se bhi Ab Positions Hedge Karai nahi Jaati,
Aur Bhar-Bhar ke jo banayi thi Positions Short ki,
Ab ek hi Din mein Cover Karai nahi Jaati....

Adaab Arz Hai....

Regards

Cactus · #**717** 24th July 2008, 10:44 PM

Proposed Telephonic massage for income tax payers.....that could be heared from 1st April 2009.

Namaskar........
Incometax bibhag main aapka swagat hai.

apne pan number ki jankari ke liye 1 dabayen........
tax rates/due date ki jankari ke liye 2 dabayen......
income tax officer se baat karne ke liye 3 dabayen.........
tax se chutkara pane ke liye APNA GALADABAYEN.

aad · #**718** 25th July 2008, 12:05 PM

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!'

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, 'Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?'

'No, sweetheart,' she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, 'Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master Card balance yet?'

'Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,' she says.

'One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the ICICI auto loan to them this month?' he asks.

'Oh, forgive me, Rajiv,' begged Mona. 'I didn't send that one, either.'

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, 'So, why did you hug me?'

Rajiv answers, 'They'll definitely find us!'

deb99891 · #**719** 25th July 2008, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aad

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!'

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, 'Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?'

'No, sweetheart,' she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, 'Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master Card balance yet?'

'Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque,' she says.

'One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the ICICI auto loan to them this month?' he asks.

'Oh, forgive me, Rajiv,' begged Mona. 'I didn't send that one, either.'

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, 'So, why did you hug me?'

Rajiv answers, 'They'll definitely find us!'

lol

fantastic

deb99891 · #**720** 27th July 2008, 10:26 AM

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