Jokes, Humours and shayaris !!!!!!

Yaar u r running as non-stop express......
let me read........
give a small break.......

one of the greatest satire and sense of humour !!!
after a long long time reallyu lol...lol...lol.,..,!

kirti

Try Till You Win


Every time we fall in life, we give up.
We give up our dreams, give up ourselves.

Waves are inspiring, not because they rise and fall;
But because each time they fall, they never fail to rise again.

To win, you need to try. Try till you win.

ganeshhity

Boss to lady during interview for post of secretary: What is the difference between paperclips and screws?
lady: I don't know,I have never been paperclipped

why we say Bull and Bear .
why not cat and dog or something else ?
is there any history behind this?

First of all, let's remember that bears are sluggish and bulls spirited and burly.
The terms "bear" and "bull" are thought to derive from the way in which each animal attacks its opponents. That is, a bull will thrust its horns up into the air, while a bear will swipe down. These actions were then related metaphorically to the movement of a market: if the trend was up, it was considered a bull market; if the trend was down, it was a bear market.
second reason could be :
Historically, the middlemen in the sale of bearskins would sell skins they had yet to receive. As such, they would speculate on the future purchase price of these skins from the trappers, hoping they would drop. The trappers would profit from a spread - the difference between the cost price and the selling price. These middlemen became known as "bears", short for bearskin jobbers, and the term stuck for describing a downturn in the market. Conversely, because bears and bulls were widely considered to be opposites due to the once-popular blood sport of bull-and-bear fights, the term bull stands as the opposite of bears.


harsh

Making a crore is undoubtedly a challenge. But utilising it effectively is another.

Here is what some of our readers would do:

I will divide the entire amount into four parts: 30% + 30% + 30% + 10%.



I would then invest 30% in stocks. This amount will be further allocated thus:

10% - Blue-chip index stocks
10% - Mid-caps with good business modules, management and profits
10% - New stories like Petronet lNG and Power Trading Corporation

I would invest the next 30% in real estate.

I would spend half the amount on buying an apartment in a posh locality. And the other half in buying a big plot of land on the outskirts of the city. The value of this piece of land would rise as the city expands.

Another 30% would go into very safe investments: National Savings Certificate, Public Provident Fund, LIC policies, bank deposits and Government of India bonds are some options.
The last 10% would be spent on diamond-studded gold and platinum jewellery.



- Anjan Bora

I would work out the following strategy:

1. Sell all the stocks.

2. Put the entire amount in my savings account with a nationalised bank. Sounds stupid, I know!

3. Wait for the present government in the Centre to fall.

4. Then I would wait for the Sensex to drop.

5. I would then re-enter the market with the entire amount and wait another year for this amount to double to Rs 2 crore (Rs 20 million).

What would I have done then?

Gone back to Point 2 and probably continued in the same way.

- Anand Sathyamoorthy

First things first. I would immediately say, "Goodbye!" to my boss.

With 15% of the amount, I would go on a world tour with my fianc�e and donate around 10% to charity.

Then I would invest the rest:

25% - equities
25% - buy a decent apartment
25% - bank deposit

- S K Bhoopathy



I would resort to three courses of action:

1. Pre-pay my existing loan to a level where it matches my existing fixed return investments.

2. Another part would have been invested in a home to earn a rental income as well as avail of asset appreciation. If necessary, I would even finance part of this purchase by taking a home loan. But I would ensure the Equated Monthly Installment is 60% or less than the rental income.

3. Assuming I am left with, say, 40% to 50% of the original Rs 1 crore (Rs 10 million), I would reallocate the balance into the market. This time, my target would be Rs 2 crore (Rs 20 million).

I would continue this cycle over the next 10 years and hope to make enough to retire at 45.

- Prasanna Singh

If my investment of Rs 30 lakh (3 million) grew to Rs 1 crore (10 million), I would cash out (assuming this is a long-term capital gain and I don't have to pay tax on it!).

There are three things I would do with the Rs 70 lakh (Rs 7 million) profit:

1. Donate 10% of the amount to a known charitable trust.

2. Put Rs 6 lakh (Rs 600,000) in the Post Office Monthly Income Scheme and earn a return of Rs 4,000 per month.

3. Assuming I already own the house that I stay in or that I stay with my parents, I would invest around Rs 57 lakh (Rs 5.7 million) in property. This, in developing areas of the city, not in posh localities.

I can assume a rental income of approximately Rs 12,500 to Rs 15,000 per month and a capital appreciation of around 5% to 10% per annum.

Obviously, in the booming real estate scenario, the appreciation can be much more. But I am averaging it out over a 10 to 15-year span and basing this on my experience in South Bangalore.

What would I do with the original Rs 30 lakh (Rs 3 million)?

Reinvest Rs 21 lakh (Rs 2.1 million) in shares or mutual funds. Though I would probably wait for a bear phase when prices drop to re-enter the market.

Rs 9 lakh (Rs 900,000) would go into National Savings Certificate and fixed deposits.

By doing this, I generate:

~ Monthly cash flow of Rs 16,500 to Rs 19,000 (rent + interest from the MIS). So, per annum, I earn Rs 198,000 to Rs 228,000.

~ Appreciation of Rs 285,000 to Rs 500,000 annually on my property.

~ The fixed deposit would get me 6% and NSC gives me 10% interest annually. So an average of 8% on Rs 9 lakh (Rs 900,000) is Rs 72,000 as interest per annum.

~ Assuming an average of 12% per annum on my equity investment of Rs 21 lakh (Rs 2.1 million), I would earn Rs 252,000 per annum.

- Aravind Krishna




what will you do

Both of the two person who started stock market first time in world were in business of bulls & bears.

..........................bull s***

hoon..........