Jokes, Humours and shayaris !!!!!!

always here,Ganesh,but unable to appreciate your jokes in Hindi(as no grasp of the language).........but your jokes in English,am always the one guffawing the hardest!

Great stuff!

Saint

This is how the stock market works !!!!!

It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief
if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian Chief in a
modern society,he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at
the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on
the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and
that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being
a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth,
called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be
cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold
indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to
collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called
the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely
going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people
and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service
again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to
e very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to
be one of the coldest winters ever.""How can you be so
sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood
like crazy."

ganeshhity

A sardar is traveling on train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, which also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out.

Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member".

ganeshhity

ok..inuff dose for today....

till tomorrow....goodbye

ganeshhity

excellent

Nice ......

One English, One American and our Santa Singh were chatting about their Country's achievements.

American said : We have launched our Space Crafts to Mars and he was proud of it.

English Guy Said : We are sending lot of Space orbiters and he too was proud.

Santa Singh: Thought for a while and said we sent our Space Craft to Sun.

Others are stunned and laughed at him and said Space craft will be burnt in the sun.

Santa Singh Coolly replied. You Know what? We have sent our space craft only in the night.There we are.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Banta Singh: "Yaar Santa, last year the name-plate outside your house read Santa Singh, B.A. This year it reads Santa Singh, M.A.When did you finish your Masters Degree?"

Santa Singh: "You don't understand. Last year my wife died, I put B.A. to indicate Bachelor Again. Then I took a second wife, So M.A. is Married Again."
Santa Singh was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted

"Order, order"

Santa immediately responded,

"Thank you , your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."

---

A ring please

The Sardarni asked her lover, Santa Singh

"Santa Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"

"Sure" replied Santa "What's your phone number?"
Santa Singh and Banta Singh exited and locked the car in a hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition.

Realizing the mistake, Banta asked, "Why don't we get a wire to open it?"

"No, that won't work,” answered Santa. "People will think we're trying to break in to steal the car."

Then Banta suggested, "What if we use a pocket knife to cut around the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?"

"No," said Santa, "People will think we're too dumb to use a wire."

"Well," sighed Banta, "we'd better think of something fast. It's starting to rain, and the sun roof is open!"


ganeshhity

THIS IS HOW STOCK MARKET WORKS !!!!!

Once upon a time in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs. 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys went out in the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy at 20 rupees. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching moneys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it. The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy on behalf of the man. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will
sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back you can sell it to him for 50."

The villagers queued up with all their saving to buy the monkeys.

Phir na woh aadmi mila na us ka assistant........... Sirf bandar hee bandar.....

Take Care

Ganeshhity

Bandarful really bandarful

hi ganesh,

wonderful monkey business ! with a moral of course !!!