Jokes, Humours and shayaris !!!!!!

.....lol...a nice one.

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies:

Some Film titles may be like these...... ·

Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai ·
Aao Chat Kare ·
Programmer No.1 ·
Mera Naam Developer ·
Java Wale Job Le Jayenge ·
Hum Aapke Memory Mein Rehte Hein ·
Do Processor, Baarah Terminal ·
Tera Code Chal Gaya ·
Har Din Jo Mail Karega ·
Network Ke Us Paar ·
Debugging Koi Khel Nahi ·
Jis Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai ·
Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ·
Client Ek Numbari, Programmer Dus Numbari ·
Login Karo Sajana ·
Naukar PC Ka ·
1942 - A Bug Story ·
Kaho Na Virus Hai ·
Crash Se Crash Tak ·
Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai ·
Shaheed Hacker Singh ·
Password De Ke Dekho ·
Terminal Apna, Login Parayi ·
Mr. Network Lal ·
Terminal Sajake Rakhna ·
Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani ·
Kyunki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha ·
Phir Teri Java-script Yaad Aayi ·
Hang To Hona Hi Tha

Hi, Happy Dassera to all of you.

Raavan felt repentence one day for all his bad deeds. He felt that he had really done a lot of bad things which affected Ram's life, so he should apologise to Ram. He went to Ram's house and knocked on the door. Ram opened the door and was surprised to find Raavan.

Raavan also kept staring and thinking but didn't say a word. Why?????????
What was he thinking??????????
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Kis mooh se maafi maangoon?!!!!!!

When We Have Hope

As long as we have hope, we have direction,
the energy to move, and the map to move by.

We have a hundred alternatives,
a thousand paths and an infinity of dreams.

Hopeful, we are halfway to where we want to go;
Hopeless, we are lost forever.

Disclaimer : If someone finds the follwing piece as vulger, it is because one thinks so, the message is NOT vulger. Different people of different countries speak English with different accents. That's all.


The Italian Who Went to The Canary Isles
[To be read with Italian accent]


One day, I am gonna Canary Isles to bigga hotel. Inmorning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma *****. I don't even know her and she call me sonna ma *****.

Later, I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock onna table. She say you better not fock onna table, you sonna ma *****.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits on ma bed. I call manager and tella him I wanna ****. He tell me go to toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna **** on the bed. He say you better not **** on the bed you sonna ma *****.

I go to checkout and the man at the desk say "Peace on you". I say, "Piss on you too, you sonna ma *****, I gonna back to Italy".

All post was superb..... no wonder so called humanitarians speak one common language .. English !!!

Birth Certificate shows that we were born,
A Death Certificate shows that we died,
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do
with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager
to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at
the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed
in a matter of seconds
by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most
in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
The happiest of people
don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.

Santa Singh..Banta Singh

US Assignment!!
Santa Singh and Banta Singh got a US software assignment. After reaching US both were staying in the same building. Santa on the first floor and Banta on the thirty fifth floor. One day the elevators were not working. Banta decided to tease Santa and he invited Santa on the phone for Sarson da Saag and Makke di Roti. When Santa reached the 35th floor using the stairs he was cheesed off to see a note on the door saying "How was the journey !!" Seeing this Santa got extremely annoyed and decided to take revenge. He put another note saying " Boss i cannot make it today!!!"

Santa Goes to heaven
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed,santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

You Are Special

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled,
and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make
and the circumstances that come our way.

We feel as though we are worthless.
But no matter what has happened or what will happen,
you will never lose your value.

You are special.
Don't ever forget it!