Collected from the Net

whether some stories are true or false, neverthless they give a very good message.

esp. of the proffesor and teacher, today i have leant more than what i presume to have known.

100/100 to Debraj to bring them here.

Satya

Hello,

I enjoyed all the quips and stories on the Board. Pl continue to do so and motivate others to come forward with such positive anecdotes.

Best Wishes.

Sharad C. Kapadia

This was forwarded to me by a cousin.

Collection of famous quotes by Navjot Singh Sidhu :

1. That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.

2. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an incoming train which will run them over.

3. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

4. This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was run out in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados."Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope."

5. Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taximeter.

6. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.

7. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!

8. He is like Indian three-wheeler, which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!

9. The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world, which does not have wings!

10. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.

11. The ball whizzes past like a bumble -bee and the Indians are in the sea.

12. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin a haystack.

13. The pitch is as dead as a dodo.

14. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!

15. The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala one falls and everything else falls!

16. Indian team without Sachin is like giving Kiss without a Squeeze.

17. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.

18. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goalkeeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.

19. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.

20. One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.

21. This quote was made after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul 'NOT OUT' in the second test at Port of Spain T&T "Eddie ichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands."

22. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm

23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.

24. You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.

25. The cat with gloves catches no mice.

26. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.

27. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

28. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.

29. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.

30. Kumble's bowling at the moment is flat as a Dosa.

This was forwarded to me by a cousin. As English is not our mother tongue, mistakes may understandably occur.


This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."


13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

How to Answer the Tough Interview Questions
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A lot of people know how to write a resume and talk their way into an
interview. But when they get into the make or break dialogue, they
stumble upon tough questions. Below, is some advice on approaching the tough
questions that interviewers like to throw at job applicants:

Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were
underutilized.

What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can't concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all
forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I'm a workaholic. I just don't know when to put
down my work.

You don't seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you'll
stay here any longer than you've stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only
competent employees..
What you should say: I'm at a point in my career where I am tired of
moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term
enterprise, where I can make a contribution.

How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday, unless I'm out of clean
underwear.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only
constant is change. I thrive on it.

How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my face.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the
workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.

What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don't have to drag my sorry ass out of bed
to kiss yours.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a
difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable
enterprise.

What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean.
That word is not in my vocabulary.

Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine, considering what kind of a malicious
person he is.
What you should say: I don't think I'd call him a boss; he's been more
of a mentor to me.

Do you ever get angry with co-workers?
Real answer: I don't get angry, I get even.
What you should say: Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker not
pulling his weight, goofing off or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do get
angry with co-workers.

Can I contact your references?
Real answer: Sure, but they won't know who I am.
What you should say: Some of them are out of the country right now.
Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.

They were together in the house.



Just the two of them.

It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly


and

each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and


wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her

from the storm.

She wanted that...more than anything .

Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed...

He raced to the sofa where she was cowering.

He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms.


He knew this was a forbidden union and

expected her to pull back.


He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him.

The storm raged on...as did their growing passion. And


there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.

They knew it was wrong...

Their families would never understand... So consumed were


they in their passion that they heard no opening


of doors...just the faint click of a camera......


Now download the attachment and see them caught in the act.

Attached Images

Caught.jpg (46.0 KB, 32 views)

Hi Debraj,

Good Write up , carry on

Hi sankoorikal,

I did not write any of the things I have posted in this thread. Perhaps I have added and amended a little here and there. These are, as the thread title says, collected from the Net. Many have been forwarded to me by a cousin.

Debraj

Nice work Debraj. Good stuff. Keep them coming.

cheers,
nkpanjiyar

This is a tale about two friends crossing the desert.
At some point they had an argument, and
one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt,
but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

They kept on walking until they found an oasis,
where they decided to take a bath. The one who
had been slapped got stuck in the mire and
started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near
drowning, he wrote on a stone:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.

The friend who had slapped and
saved his best friend asked him,
"After I hurt you, you wrote in the
sand and now, you write on a stone,
why?" The other friend replied "When someone
hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds
of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone
does something good for us, we must engrave
it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."