Humor

swagat86 · #**251** 26th December 2006, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murthymsr

Our HERO WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's

Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Urmail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!
AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

***********************************************
happy new year to all !
murthymsr

Excellent .

trader111 · #**252** 26th December 2006, 09:34 PM

wherever one looks for jokes on net most find are stupid. but here its awesome

gr8 posts

murthymsr · #**253** 27th December 2006, 03:16 PM

What If you find it very boring in the office? Here are some tips.......Try it!

I am not responsible if you are FIRED!!

Here you go.....................

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

3. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.

5. Send mails from ms-mail to your Internet mail (and immediately Get to the Internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa.............!!

6. Watch other people changing their facial expressions while working and try changing your expressions also.

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.

8. Have work breaks in between tea.

9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

10. Read jokes and send jokes.

11. Revise last week's newspaper.

12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

14. Compile "How to waste your day"

15. Pick up phone and dial non existing nos.

16. Make faces at strangers in office.

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..Then repeat this process.

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.

20. Learn to whistle.

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and Take a nap.

And if you are still bored, Copy & Post in all the forums, you know !!!
or send as a mail to everyone you know !!!

*****************************************

happy new year

murthymsr

sivavkm · #**254** 27th December 2006, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murthymsr

.....................
And if you are still bored, Copy & Post in all the forums, you know !!!
or send as a mail to everyone you know !!!

good one

murthymsr · #**255** 27th December 2006, 07:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trader111

wherever one looks for jokes on net most find are stupid. but here its awesome

gr8 posts

most of these are also from the net. but filtered and circulated by some friends of similar interests.

San2000 · #**256** 27th December 2006, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murthymsr

Our HERO WAS chatting with a female - Online chat.
Background both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's

Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?

Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat

Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat

Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.

Hero: OK
(Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)

Manager: Hey, I need some help from you

Hero: [**** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me

Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. would you give this by today evening?

Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I Give it by tomorrow evening.

Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]

(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)

Female: Hey, am back

Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, She's kinda..... keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work

Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick ppl these managers are!!

Hero: Yep, u rite!!

Female: Hey, can u do me a favor

Hero: *smiles* sure, why not.

Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number, given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real Urgent for me to work this out

Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Urmail in an hour from now. ok?

Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!!
AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!

***********************************************
happy new year to all !
murthymsr

that was a great one

Sankalp

San2000 · #**257** 27th December 2006, 08:09 PM

One day a man was having a conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" to which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you in my hands"

Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which the PM answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!"

Sankalp

jatayoo · #**258** 27th December 2006, 10:25 PM

Good one SAN2000
I'll visit this forum whenever i am bored on this board--- like today.Looks like everyone is puzzled-- are we going up or down.
me thinks that while the FII's enjoy christmas our mutual funds and HNI's are buying into stocke so they can sell them to the FII's when they return!!!!
So while the FII's party we plan how to sell them dear and make money.Then we will hear that the market is overvalued---- why not now???

swagat86 · #**259** 28th December 2006, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by San2000

One day a man was having a conversation with god when his whole life flashed before his eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult periods of his life there were only one set of footprints. He asked god "You said you will be with me throughout this journey, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of my life??" to which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times in your life, I was carrying you in my hands"

Another day I was having a similar conversation with my Project Manager (PM) when my whole project flashed before my eyes as a series of footsteps on the sands of time. I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most difficult times in the project there were only one set of footprints. I asked my PM "You said you will be with me throughout the project, but why have you deserted me during the most critical times of the project??" to which the PM answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always with you...you see only one set of footprints because during those difficult times, I was sitting on your head!!"

Sankalp

hehehhehehe Gr8 adaptation man

swagat86 · #**260** 28th December 2006, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murthymsr

What If you find it very boring in the office? Here are some tips.......Try it!

I am not responsible if you are FIRED!!

Here you go.....................

1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.

2. Make blank calls to your Boss.

3. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).

4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.

5. Send mails from ms-mail to your Internet mail (and immediately Get to the Internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa.............!!

6. Watch other people changing their facial expressions while working and try changing your expressions also.

7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts.

8. Have work breaks in between tea.

9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.

10. Read jokes and send jokes.

11. Revise last week's newspaper.

12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.

13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.

14. Compile "How to waste your day"

15. Pick up phone and dial non existing nos.

16. Make faces at strangers in office.

17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.

18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..Then repeat this process.

19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.

20. Learn to whistle.

21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and Take a nap.

And if you are still bored, Copy & Post in all the forums, you know !!!
or send as a mail to everyone you know !!!

*****************************************

happy new year

murthymsr

Murthy i hope u didnt try this at ur workplace. If yes wat was the reaction????? i wud like to know...

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