Humor

A Small Story On Share Market

Once upon a time in a village a man appeared who announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs. 10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys , went out in the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at 10 and as supply started to diminish and villagers started to stop their effort he announced that now he would buy
at 20 rupees.

This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to 25 and the supply of monkeys became so that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at 50! However, since
he had to go to the city on some business his assistant would now buy
on behalf of the man.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers,
"Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will
sell them to you at 35 and when the man comes back you can sell it to him
for 50."
The villagers queued up with all their saving to buy the monkeys.

Phir na woh aadmi mila na us ka assistant........... Sirf bandar hee bandar.....

bandarful...bherry bherry bandarful......

this appeared in one of my posts....then I posted it on net...

but till you make people laugh.....it gets going...nice one...

ganeshhity

Here's one that is old, but always brings a patriotic smile back on!!

A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani are all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when, all of a sudden, Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they are all sentenced to death!

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said:
"Please tie a pillow to my back."
This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. When the punishment was done the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.

The Pakistani was next up.
After watching the German in horror he said smugly:
"Please fix two pillows to my back."
But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through them and the Pakistani was soon led away whimpering loudly.

The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"

"Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied.

"In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face.

"If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.

"And your second wish, what is it to be?" the Sheik asked.


Sardar smiled and said,

"Tie that Pakistani to my back" !!!





JAI HIND!!!!!!!!!!!!???

Quite informative and enjoyable laws compared to those thermodynamic laws

From A Mother With Love

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.

Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.

They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.

Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

Subject: Tales from the Teller

---------------
An older lady, not quite up on the ins and outs of banks, was surprised to receive a notice demanding payment on her loan. She called the loan officer and said, "I can't return your money. I'm not finished with it yet."
---------------
Explaining their policy on not cashing checks for people who don't have accounts with their bank, the teller said, "Why, if he didn't have an account here, I wouldn't cash a check for my own brother."

The irate customer replied, "Well, you know your family a lot better than I do!"
---------------
While the U.S. stock market is at an all-time high, the ups and downs frighten a lot of small investors like me. I went to my financial advisor at the bank and asked if he was worried. He replied that he slept like a baby.

I was amazed and asked, "Really? Even with all the fluctuations?"

He said, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours."


Courtesy: Internet

GOVT. EMPLOYEE

The supervisor for the Union of CPWD called the meeting to order.

"Men - we've agreed on a new deal with the state. We'll no longer have to work FIVE days a week!"

"HOOORAY!!!" the crowd cheered.

"We'll quit work at 4 PM and not 5 PM!"

"HOORAY!!!" the crowd roared.

"We don't have to be in until 11 AM instead of 10 AM!"

"HOORAY!!!" the crowd thundered.

"And now, even though 90% of the roads in the country are in bad shape, we'll only have to work on Wednesdays!!"

Silence.











A voice from the back of the room asks, "You mean, EVERY Wednesday?"

The Answer

The Supervisor: Noooooooooo! Only if Feb 29th is Wednesday

lol Pankaj

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."