Humor

Check out Murphey's Laws Of Computing



1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.



2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete.



3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it.



4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.



5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.



6. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural.



7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up.



8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer.



9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked perfectly.



10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.


--Pankaj

Courtesy www.jokeguru.com

May be fun ! enjoy or forget !

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Shaadi ke pehle - Maine Pyar Kiya
Shaadi ke baad - Ye Maine Kya Kiya?

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Kuch Nahi Hota Ha

Shaadi ke pehle - Dil To Pagal Hai
Shaadi ke baad - Dil To Pagal Tha

Shaadi ke pehle - Ek Duje Ke Liye
Shaadi ke baad - Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye

Shaadi ke pehle - Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge
Shaadi ke baad - Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge

Shaadi ke pehle - Chandramukhi
Shaadi ke baad - Jwaalamukhi

Shaadi ke pehle - Kuwara Baap
Shaadi ke baad - Bechara Baap

Shaadi ke pehle - Titanic
Shaadi ke baad - Mortgage

Shaadi ke pehle - Hum Aapke Hai Koun?
Shaadi ke baad - Barbadi Ka Reason

Shaadi ke pehle - Aao Pyar Karen
Shaadi ke baad - Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen?

Shaadi ke pehle - chal chayya chayya
Shaadi ke baad - ah aab laut chale

Shaadi ke pehle - hum aapke dil main rehte hain
Shaadi ke baad - hum apke ghar main rehte hain

Shaadi ke pehle - arzoo
Shaadi ke baad - asoo

Shaadi ke pehle - soldier
Shaadi ke baad - major sahib

Shaadi ke pehle - pyaar hona hi tha
Shaadi ke baad - meri saath esa kyu hua

Shaadi ke pehle - jeevan saathi
Shaadi ke baad - bachcho ke baad, bangaye hathi

Shaadi ke pehle - deewana
Shaadi ke baad - anjaam

Shaadi ke pehle - laila majnoo
Shaadi ke baad - dono majnoon

Shaadi ke pehle - taj mahal
Shaadi ke baad - sadak

Shaadi ke pehle - tammana
Shaadi ke baad - tamasha

Lessons In Logic


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If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.


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I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.


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Practice makes perfect.
But nobody's perfect
so why practice?


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If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?


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Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.


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How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?


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Money is not everything.
There's MasterCard & Visa.


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One should love animals.
They are so tasty.


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Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.


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Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.


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The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.


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Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.


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Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.


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"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep.


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There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning.


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"Hard work never killed anybody"
But why take the risk.


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"Work fascinates me"
I can look at it for hours.


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God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.


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The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So... why learn.


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A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station.
what more can I say.


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Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor, and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighbourhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house, a woman watched the two men from her kitchen window as they checked her gas meter.

When they had finished the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger co-worker to a foot race back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one. The co-worker accepted the challenge. As they approached the truck in full stride, the two men realized that the lady from the kitchen window was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped in their tracks and asked the woman why she was running behind them.

Gasping for breath, she replied, "I'm not stupid... when I see two gas men running that fast, I figure I'd better run too!"


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A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. And the women just won't leave the poor guy alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the left!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car - you
or your mother?"

Hi Karuna,

...........Your last 2 posts,............Very nice and great stuff as always!

Thanks!
Saint

Jaideep,

Apologies for late response.
I find poetry, I find Pholosophy and I also find a noble soul behind those kind words.

Thanks.
murthymsr

Great thread this. Fantastic contributions to keep the funny bone busy. Thanks Karuna for starting this thread & thanks again to you & Murthy for flooding it with gems, each & everyone of yours'. My thanks to all other contributors too, do keep them coming in.

Thanks a ton, Saint & Jaideep.

Just my small contribution and you may say reciprocating and way of saying thanks to all the great souls around

Regards,
Karuna

On the other hand you have different fingers.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He's not dead... he's electroencephalographically challenged.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can't have everything....where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population. (duh! )

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Absent-minded professor
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."

When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget about it."

"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it, otherwise I won't know where to get off."