Getting divorced am very depressed; may need advice

Well, mine is a long story. Not sure if any one would want to read or listen. Honestly, not even sure if any body would even care. But i think it just makes me feel better to write some thing here.

I did have an arranged marriage back in 2004. Soon after we started living together, i realized that my wife could never trust me (for whatever reason). Simple and small things would turn up to be huge issues. For example, I would be coming back late from work and for no reason she would suspect me of being with a prostitute or having an affair with another women. Then I would have to convince her that I had work to do in my office etc. I would be crossing the road and she would accuse me of looking at some other woman inappropriately when in fact, I was not looking at another woman or any thing, i was merely crossing the road and making sure i don't get hit by a truck or a car. Later she started accusing me that I was not giving her any cash for her household expenses when in fact, i did give her my bank atm card etc. She still insisted that she doesn't want to use the bank atm card. I told her that she could withdraw money or use it any time she wants. But no, she wanted cash so I had to give her cash every month..

One fine day, she beat me pretty badly. She tried to beat me up again and I had to call the cops. To make a long story short, the issue is that we have had good times and bad times. Whenever she is nice, she could be the greatest woman to me. But when she gets angry, she becomes very violent to me.

I have petitioned for a divorce. Am I doing the right thing? Actually, I already filed for divorce and also withdrew it once. We both decided to reconcile but later I realized that she just wanted her green card through me and had no real interest in me.

My parents and our family doctors think that she is paranoid schizophrenic. To make matters worse, she baptized to be a born again christian and always was imposing her religious views upon me.

Is divorce the right thing?

Why am I so depressed even after she has done all this cruel things to me?

Dear Friend,
You are not alone and you are not the first person on the earth who is going through this truma.
I have gone through this phase. Its really very painful and make emotionally very fragile.
It took me hell lot of time to come out from this phase.
Now I am remarried with nice girl. Atlast life again started. Yes the scars of previous marrage took long time to heal.

Only one advice to you ' Dont try to make thinghs happen the way you want ' try to make out the the out come in peaceful way dont fight ,
Things which are not workable better to end in good way.

My friend life is beautiful. There was total darkness when things happened with me ( I have one son).
Keep faith. You will find new straingth , hope to go through this difficult time.

I will pray to God to grant you serenity and wisdom.

Dont worry . Every thing will be fine at the end. You will be new person who is reborn with new strangth.

Let Go and Let GOD.

If you feel you can write me on this matter.

My problem is, now that I am away from her, I keep getting the good thought and good times. I have done this....but every time i reconcile, things never work out. So you are correct in the fact that i should not reconcile.

My problem is that she is refusing to give me a divorce until she gets her green card through me. If we both get called for a green card interview, i obviously cannot go and lie and say that we both are living happily like a husband and wife when we both have been separated for a long time.

Right now, my divorce depends on whether she gets her green card or not. But honestly, i have done every thing to get her the green card but its not like i take it out of my pocket and give her the green card. green card is like a ration card given by the government.

this has been the most painful moments of my life. luckily i don't have any children.

friend u have been used by your wife for the green card.
yes I too think, your wife is mental sick.
She is paranoid may also be suffering from OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder) as if mis-behaving is her compulsion.
It's bitter truth,that despite of lots of attempts,wavelengths of 2 individuals dont match.
consult a psychiatrist, and diagnose her disorders.
If it cant be cured then consult a lawyer and file a devorce petition on the basis of "disability of mental state of the spouse".

remember,

"what cant be cured must be endured but it can definitely be abjured"
go thu the following link ,it shall help your understanding.

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/s...Texas_Laws.htm

sorry to read this bro. but i dont have anything to say. SORRY AGAIN.

I am a bit confused here.....i am a american citizen,in your message you have said that you had the cops come down to sort out issues,now if the complaint was lodged i dont see no reason why you cannot win the divorce case as long as the physical abuse has been documented by the authorities.
all the best and god bless you....
P.S:Its not just a question of green card,i am pretty sure your ultimate goal is citizenship and while applying for n-400,she has to prove that she is happily married to you else she wont be approved for naturalization.

The fact is that when this incident where the cops came happened way back in October of 2006. Even though she beat me up, just before the cops came, she took a knife and cut her wrist and lied to the cops stating that i tried to rape her!!! And I should have filed for a divorce right that time. For whatever reason, we got back together. This was foolish on my part...

After we got back together, I did file for a divorce in the U.S (Aug 2007). I am so stupid that I decided to get back with her again. This was exactly during the time when she needed me to file the petition for her green card. She really "smooth talked" me......."we both could buy a house" etc. etc. and i am so stupid that i fell for it. Kind of like how u catch a rat by showing the cheese....So even though we lived separately for almost 1 year, i filed for her green card. Now this green card thing is taking almost 1 year before they even touch the application. (back when i got mine, used to take like 2 months). Now there is a high chance that she may get called for an interview to see "whether the marriage is genuine or not".
1) we don't own a house together.
2) we don't have any children
3) when we filed, i lived in california and she lived in Maryland
4) we both have separate bank accounts.

For every one who is reading this:

1) If u get divorced in India, is this valid in the u.s.?
2) If u get divorced in the U.S., is this valid in India?
3) There is some thing called a 'paper divorce' where i can get it in 2-3 weeks in Mexico or Caribbean without serving the paper to my wife. Would this be valid?
4) How long does a contested divorce take in India? Can a judge keep on giving her an adjournment if she refuses to come to India and keep giving all sorts of excuses?
5) How can I prove that she got converted officially i.e. baptized to Christianity? I am not biased or against christianity or any thing like that. (I was educated in a christian school in Madras and I respect all religions.) It's just that according to the Indian Marriage Act of 1954, this conversion itself is a grounds for divorce. Thing is I have no proof. And her attorney and mother are blatantly lying that she did not convert!!

Thanks to all

Yes. Unfortunately she loves America more than me. America is more important to her than me.

Now should i write a letter to immigration stating:

a) Please give her the green card immediately so that i can get my divorce. She is holding me 'hostage' here....etc.

OR

b) should i say that i am withdrawing my petition for her green card since the marriage is no longer valid?

Yep. Thing is, for the people who know her from the outside ie her co-workers, etc. have absolutely no clue. In fact, she works in the health care industry and refused any kind of marriage therapy or counseling. She could be nice .....but all of a sudden, some thing that i say (even normal one's) she can misunderstand and misinterpret...

I once told her that my parents would visit me. She immediately took offense and told me that my parents were coming to America and all 3 of us would torture her!

She also bit me once and the doctor really thought i got bitten by a dog.