CV here is something in a Lighter Vein...:)

[SavantGarde]

Welcome To Psychiatric Hotline:

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
• If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
• If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
• If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
• If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

 

[CreditViolet]

Welcome To Psychiatric Hotline:

• If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
• If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
• If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
• If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call
• If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
• If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
• If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

Fantastic! Most of them make sense

Not sure if this belongs in the Word of Wisdom forum though


CV

 

[ash.investor]

Just wanted to add one more line:

* If you are really frustated and pissed off, then break the instrument that you are holding.

Regards,
a$h.investor

 

[CreditViolet]

Just wanted to add one more line:

* If you are really frustated and pissed off, then break the instrument that you are holding.

Regards,
a$h.investor

CV